a bigger cup

No, l'm not talking bra size here, in fact mine is still shrinking as l continue to effortlessly lose weight for the first time in my life.

What l am looking for is a metaphoric bigger vessel into which l can hold the support, empathy and  love l have been receiving from  friends, some family members and even acquaintances.


That without this network of support, of whom until February I really didn't realise or appreciate, I doubt I would be this able. I would be other.

Do not think of a painful experience as a dark time in your life. You emerge out of everything learning something or becoming a better person. You realize who your real friends are and how much your loved ones mean to you. ~Colleen Ho

I probably have not been thankful enough to them, as moments pass and l sometimes miss the opportunity to tell them to their faces how grateful l am.

The 1am text messages asking if l'm in bed yet.
The daily phone calls asking if I am ok?
The emails of support from bloggers whose blogs I don't even know.
Hugs from work colleagues I rarely talk to.
Unannounced visitors at my door at 9pm popping in for a cuppa.
Impromptu gifts of cake, chocolate & gin.
My listeners' unending patience and seemingly their lack of a boredom threshold.
My son.


I thank you.

And as I in turn recover, flail and recover a little more,
I find strength behind pockets of doubt.
I find solace in the silence.
I find optimism within small breaths of hope.

A new journey begins.