We're off on a road trip ...

Oh bugger it! I just realised that I saved this post to draft instead of publishing it before we left last tuesday... here's what I wrote!

We're all packed, the car is stuffed to overflowing and my sister in law is here to dog and house sit, in that order!

We each have our own bag full of road trip basics, foamy fruits, wine gums, bananas, assorted sarnies and raspberry muffins, to be eaten in any order in the first two hours, then everyone will be high on sugar and then we'll hit a low 5 hours before we arrive.

We will be staying in a vintage AirstreamTrailer, known as a silver bullet, courtesy of Vintage Vacations uk and then we will explore the island and have some fun.

Hopefully we will relax sometime too, as have some great books packed, including Rushdie's Midnights' Children, l'm determined to master the Booker master, and a favourite author of mine is Joyce Carol Oates, her latest paperback, The Gravediggers Daughter and the latest hyped book, The Private Lives of Pippa Lee by Rebecca Miller, which is a Richard and Judy Summer Read choice. It has some literary creedence apparently, as the author is the daughter of playwright Arthur Miller, (and is the wife of Daniel Day Lewis why that's of any import, who knows!)

I will also turn 50 while we're away! So when l come back l shall know how it feels.

See ya soon!

A HORMONAL HAZE!

I'm so stressed, I cannot really believe it is me, but I almost always am these days.

So okay, I've had a busy week of evacuation exercises, work pattern changes, strikes and picket lines and busy, busy times on a busy reception, busy... do I really need to say busy again? My current routine, which as I've mentioned before involves juggling work, home, kids, animals during the week, whilst hubby works away. Not to mention the housework and the zillion other claims, which admittedly I put upon myself! This is something a world of other mums do and probably better than I. It isn't anything new, rare or indeed different. We women do joke that we can multi task, but actually I do hold up my hands and say that I do multi task but none of it do I do particularly well ... and it's all getting a wee bit tedious, actually.

Twenty years ago, we lived 'down south', we were you could say 'DINKY', double income no kids yet. Married for 6 years, together for 13 and enjoying 2-3 holidays a year, work, cars, eating out, living the Thatcher dream! (or so we thought then). I held an assortment of retail buying and management jobs, I was well paid, organised, (I was honest!) I was highly motivated and I enjoyed the responsibilities of buying and managing staff, of fashion trips, Fashion week, fairs and flying to conferences. I worked 10 and 12 hour days, sometimes on top of a 60 mile commute to London and beyond and back again daily! I was confident, successful and an achiever.

We made some choices that changed our lives and we had two children. When they were toddlers we upped sticks and moved from the sunny seaside of Kent, to the dark, dank and dreary climes of Cumbria. Great for walkers, climbers, ramblers, farmers and fish! I've had a variety of part time jobs here, which I've chosen so they worked well around the kids' school hours and hol's.

For a time I didnt work at all as I was busy setting up my onlone vintage clothing site (http://www.sarasattic.co.uk/). But I soon felt isolated alone all day on remote farm and so found another job that fit around the family.

So what the hell happened? How can a week of part time work, (granted over five full stressful days), two teenage kids that don't really need mollycoddling anymore, (even if I do fuss), a dog, a rabbit, the usual housework, keeping on top of the garden, some bill paying and a Tesco online shop, drive me to cotton wool wobbly despair? I have the coping skills and stamina to deal with most major domestic/emotional castrophes, l know this cos I have been there, when the shit hits, you can count on me. Please don't misunderstand, these are my choices and I stand by them. But the daily grind seems to be getting the better of me!

SO whats with the stress? the headaches? the angst? the miserable moods? I like to, no hope to think it's the mid life change and all this brings to bear. This too shall pass.

A menopausal mum in crisis with two teenagers in the house. This house is a hormonal haze. No wonder my husband only comes home at weekends! I can't blame him, I wouldn't come home at all!

...5 days off now, breathe deeply, smell the roses, tomorrow is a new day ... yeah well obviously, DUH!

What's with the inches v pounds?

Bloody hell! It really is true! I never would have believed it, if l hadn't seen it for myself! Holy crap. I can put on weight and get thin! DOH!

Here's the gig, I had gained some weight over the last 10 years. I can't blame the gain on giving up smoking cos l did that in '90. I can't blame pregnancy and babies cos I did that in '91 and '94. It obviously wasn't the breast feeding, cos l did that from '91 through to '96, please don't groan so loudly, l heard that! LOL! SO I guess it the Galaxy and bigger portions.

Two years ago wanting to approach my 50's healtier and thinnier, I decided to take my self in hand, (if you'll pardon the expression) and l gently dropped 3olbs, down from a voluptuous size 18/20 to a curvy size 14. So bit by bit I chucked out ALL the old clothes and as I shrunk down over 6 months I replaced old sizes with new.

After 12 months I bought MORE clothes and shoes (yes, if you drop that much your FEET get smaller too!) and since I have acquired a few more items to hide at the back of the wardrobe , under the bed (and if desperate the boot of the car) and then I gradually intoduce them as, 'What this? Oh I've had this for ages, just haven't had the place/time/event or indeed imagination to invent another barefaced lie to tell you!'

Before as my weight fluctuated over the years, it wasnt a bother to me. SO what's this all about then, its all gone on in the same bloody place! A drum roll for the belly roll! In February I joined Curves, the ladies only gym, that recommends 30 minutes workout x 3 times a week (in fact its less than that, I'm usually there and back in 40 minutes) and I've dropped about 15 inches in total, but get this I'm about 10lbs heavier than I was when I joined.

I do feel fitter, I'm more or less the same dress size, but I feel bigger. Apparently it's a fact that muscle weighs than fat in the same space. Go figure!

Maybe it'll all settle down when I'm through the other end of this hot space they call menopause.

Sigh...

Reasons to value women over 50!

I found this on the net and thought it appropriate and funny enough to share! (though I can't say I'm this confident!)

"As I grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 50 will not lay next to you in bed and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 50 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it's usually something more interesting.

A woman over 50 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a darn what you might think about her or what she's doing.

Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

A woman over 50 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women.

Women over 50 couldn't care less if you're attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won't betray her.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50. They always know.

A woman over 50 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coifed hot woman of 50+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 18-year-old waitress.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free," here's an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage."

HOW MANY MENOPAUSAL WOMEN ....

How many MENOPAUSAL women does it take to change a light bulb ?

One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the f# &%! ** light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

I'm sorry. What was the question?

Sara x

Like I don't have enough to do!

Why do we do it? Why do we say yes when we mean no!? Why do we take on new projects or assume another role? Does it mean l'm too needy and so l want to be liked and please people sooo much that I will stuff my day to overflowing, until l reach that point where l say ENOUGH!!

Why do l do this often enough, that every six months or so I have sit down with a pen and paper and list my roles, jobs, projects and then I shave the list so I can breathe?

One of my 'roles' is as a part time Museum & Gallery assisitant on a 25 hour week, which is worked over a complicated eight week shift pattern, which changes over three seasons and that only the Ancient Bablylonians or Egyptians would understand!



I juggle this job around the family, which includes two teenage kids, one 13 year old boy and a 16 year old girl (I thank you for your sympathetic groans!) and a 12 year black lab called Pippa. My husband works away most weekdays and comes home for weekends, although as I type, we are in the middle of a three week 'work away' period, which is new to us all; more on that another time, depending how it all turns out!

So as l'm sure you can imagine the daily photofit, with me managing everyone and myself in some sort of tuneless syncopation which we call, our day!

So when l am asked and invariably this is a twice weekly event, to alter, extend or swap a shift to suit someone and anyone other than me, why do I say, 'yes that's fine!' ....even though I am given the, 'you don't have to do it!'... get out of jail free card!

I tell myself that it's cos l want an easy life, no hassle! But the bottom line is it gives me hassle! It doesnt make my life any easier!

Like I don't have enough to do!



So you heard it here first, the first point on my 'plan' is to say no! No changes, no new projects or at least until l finish the ones l've started (oh my!)and for gods sake Sara, as my daughter is always telling me, 'CHILL WOMAN!'

SOLACE TO MY EARS! (and waist)

I caught this snippet on the BBC website last night, the article is celebrating a 2001 exhibition at London's British Museum, 'Cleopatra unveiled'.



'Yet recent reports in a British newspaper suggested that Cleopatra was fat and frumpy, with a large hooked nose, bad teeth, sharp eyes, and a thick fat-folded neck.'




Peter Higgs, curator of the Museum's Greek and Roman Department explains,

"These statues carved in the Egyptian style, show this wonderful curvaceous body, but, if you look at the face, it's not what we call beautiful by modern standards, although she may have been considered beautiful at the time."

PAH!! only a man would say that!! I think she still looks pretty darn fine!

SO WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

Did l really call this blog 'Fat, frumpy & fifty?' Yes, I did and why? Well because I was thinking of a suitable title for this blog, one that summed up my 'NOW' and rightly or wrongly that's how I feel NOW. l remembered my mum using the phrase often to describe herself and other women of a certain age. And low and behold I realise that now includes me!

Am I fat, frumpy & fifty? I guess l'm overweight a tad or two, but then who isn't? Am I frumpy? truthfully? yeah on a BAD day or when l'm just slouching around the house and garden, no makeup, just jeans and a tee. AM I fifty? Ah, now here we come to it, the crux of the matter.

I will reach this monumental state next month. Sigh! I'm all a twitter and I can hardly stop thinking about it!

However, l have decided not to sit and squirm and squeeze this offending spot on my immediate horizon, I have decided that this will be a great year, the year I start to put myself a little more ahead in the queue of wants and needs. Perhaps to pamper, to indulge and perhaps to enjoy!

I haven't a plan but I'm sure it will come together nicely over the next weeks and months and l shall try and stick to it, this plan I don't have!