Home Alone 2

I thought I would share my few solitary days with you. I am alone. All alone. Not lonely.

The last time I was alone, I thought was just a few months ago. No. It was not. The last time was when I posted this post Home Alone dated Tuesday July 22, 2008!! That's nine months ago.

The same routine is being replayed. Larry has three days in the office in Manchester and so he books into an apartment rather than a hotel. This one has two bedrooms, so although my son camps out in the living room, there is a sense of holiday for them. Larry loves taking them out in the evenings. Imax - what is that? Pizza, curry, Apple shop etc.

I get to rearrange the house just so, tweaking a few things here and there. This way and that. Attack our daughters room. So when she returns it not overwhelming her. Cos as it is now, I cannot see the carpet!

I also get to play with my new toy. Its white and heavy and noisy! Now now! Moi, mais non! Lucky moi was out with Larry for breakfast yesterday and then we ran a few errands, including picking up some wire, I think I mean leads, for the amplifier. He totally surprised me by asking for ' a white Bose soundDock please' I was flabbergasted! My belated birthday present! I have been yearning for this for my ipod and loving the anticipation. I now have one. It is fantastico! The sound is sublime.

I find that the pace here is slowing and I am awash with a quiet contentment... and wine, galaxy, cream cake and salmon and veg steamed to perfection. Now which dvd shall I watch?

Thank you David, for mentioning this post in Post of the Day!

ABC Wednesday - M is for ..

ME and MY shadow!

Our beloved Pippa

earlier this evening

seating not so patiently 

while we eat our chicken dinner!

For the home of ABC Wednesday, go to Mrs Nesbitt's Place.

My mojo is missing

I'm not sure I can explain this properly. I'm not sure I can even put my finger on it. I'm not sure I even know where it has been. I'm not so sure I would recognise it if I saw it. I will try and explain.

I think I began to miss it early on last year. Some days I found myself feeling as if I was detached from my body. Detached from my family and friends. Detached from my life. Detached. In limbo.

It was as if I was in waiting for an event. What event? I had no knowledge of any nor any expectancy for any such happening.
It has felt like the sort of thing you read about when people talk about 'out of body experiences'. I have felt sad. At times I have felt very angry. Frustrated. Fit to burst. But I know not what about. I have felt disappointment.

It isn't depression. That shadow has visited. I know the difference. It is a chasm. Deep space. Off the beat. Out of sync.

I have assuaged these deep and strong feelings by telling myself I am at a crossroads. A watershed. Perhaps it is trite and indulgent, but it has seemingly got me through, I think to here and now. It has helped. Nothing terrible has happened. Really. I think I have been changing. Treading water. Holding on. By my fingernails.

Almost a year on and I think I have found a balance. I hope. I have not been looking. We have made changes. Not all welcomed. Some by the seat of our pants. Not all tangible.

Maybe it takes a little sunshine. Maybe it is a rite of passage. From one age to another. The dynamic is changing. I am changing. Everything changes. All of the time. Sometimes there is more noise. Sometimes there is a space left that needs filling. Or not. Maybe it takes time. Energy. Patience. Deep replenishing breaths of life.

It may also be that the cathartic and life affirming nature of this experience online has helped. It may be the kindness of others. Watching people reach out. Friendships made. The fulfillment and richness of the writing here. The prize of writing and sharing.

A shift in the spirit level of family. Relationships realigned.

It is early days, but I'm pretty sure I've got my mojo back.

A Sunday Roast

Today and tomorrow I am working,

 as it is my turn on shift

this Easter 

The Museum doesn't close often, it is open 24/7

only closing on Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Years Day.

So suck it up Saz! 

So whilst the family are sucking up their chocolate and 

perhaps tidying the house and garden, I jest of course,

I am helping visitors around the museum 

and time is probably passing very slowly.

My day often begins well

 with an abundance of goodwill and happiness

 through the bounty of bloggers 

In particular this week's

 Sunday Roast feature 

 in David Authorblog McMahon's  blog.

I was honoured that David asked to interview me 

a short while ago for this feature 

but

 I am a little wary as I hardly recall 'what I writ'!

So if you go to  visit  please be gentle with me!

A Photostory Friday - West Walls

Visit MamaGeek and Cecily, creators of Photo Story Friday.

walking back to the car from the church

 where my daughter 

had been performing in the senior choir

the sun was shining

in blue skies and I was

remembering how Merisi seems to 

find such great shots upon her walks

I thought I would try and look with her eye

for interesting buildings, views and reflections

these are the results of my 15 minute walk along West Walls

 the oldest street in the city which nestles along the city wall

view through leaded church window

shadow of a naked tree on old leaded window in sandstone building

West Walls

an old street lantern on West Walls

shadow of the street light

Visit MamaGeek and Cecily, creators of Photo Story Friday.

(Don't assume all of Carlisle is like this, I also have pics of grafitti walls and boarded up buildings. These are pics of the older parts in Carlisle, my adopted home town)

For Doris

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, 

love leaves a memory no one can steal.  

From a headstone in Ireland

PoeticLicense

Clouds of Calm - Photostory Friday

Visit MamaGeek and Cecily, creators of Photo Story Friday.

I have cherished some moments of calm

and pockets of contentment this week.

I guess usually at this point

You would expect to see images

of soppy dogs and smiley babies, but not here

My segments of satisfaction are small slices

from my day on Tuesday

when I found myself smiling and reflecting

over small portions of productivity amid clouds of calm.

*****

The singing steam of the kettle

Flowers from a friend

cooking cute cupcakes

wind blown webs of washing

 bargain basement finds

and bedtime bliss

small wonders upon which to build

Visit MamaGeek and Cecily, creators of Photo Story Friday.