yet still l waited...

I wrote this last year on new years day... it had been in my bones for years, yet still I waited. It is now done and I am no longer lost, just floating on a contemplative moment

Pockets of Change

she is still,

agly perched on the bed

unnoticed,

the safer option

a perifery of pain

in every road crossing,

each dusty word

 hangs heavy and hot

in the stale air
cleft an open silence,

skulking into her apron,

clenched fists

slammed deep

into the pockets

of change

the thin ties that bind

are taut

sinew like

cutting into her back

leaving deep wales

her skin searing

with heat

itching to be scratched,

her nails dig deep,

loughing up flesh

to feel, must feel it

her darkness shadows

misshapen memories

left against the wall

her apron

hides the dull ache

kept preserved

boxed, plain, simple

unspoken,

her guard is down

tensions press the forehead

a pulse throbs with urgency

her open flesh yearning

for the crumbs
in the pages of remembrance

inbetween each sheath

each page

loves, lies, lives lived

hidden by life's procrastinations

her efforts to avoid change

and pain

the landscape of life

surrenders its waste,

she can smell it

taste it, fear it

dessicated leaves fallen,

branches reaching out

into the unknown,

bare

all knowing
she has watched them grow

change colour

like their moods

she needs to swallow,

gulps of succour

burning at her throat,

a venting,

the loss

the sleet trapped on her eyelashes

melts

and falls onto seared cheeks,

tears fall to burst

she falls

from the grey eiderdown

that threatens suffocation

beckoning

'take me'

the room suddenly suffused

with sunlight

offers succour,

no longer decayed

nor barren or bereft

overwhelming

layers upon layers

of calm,

she lay open,

exhausted

and weeping

Sore. Pain.

Alive.

S.A.F.W. 01/2010