Down but not out...
I am all at sea... next thursday I start my summer holidays. A run of 20 days off through to the last third of August. Then I have a grab of days working and days off, I reckon l'm only working 8 days in all in August.
As I mentioned in my last FFF post the kids are home off from school. You know it. I know it. The neighbours know it. Bus drivers, commuters, sweet shop assistants and newsagents, even the off licence chappie knows. A few weeks of calm?
WHAT!!? calm you say... I don't think so. WHY? you may well ask why have I taken so much time off? Well it's habit you see. I've always had a little part time work of some sort since I stopped real work (indeed life as I knew - and loved- it) after I had the first baby. My work was based in places where I could be flexible and always there to drop them off, pick them up, attend each and every play, concert and activity. I was a dinner lady for 4 years, with play ground duty at the their infants school, which I adored. Then a bookseller with a very understanding boss. Then I joined the Museum 6 years ago and that has worked out fine, indeed I have upped my hours accordingly. Whereby now, they are I guess latch key kids but they are 17 and soon to be 15 years old. So that's ok in my book. I've done my duty by them and been there for them.
This year is palpably different. As I mentioned on FFF. I am not needed. Surplus to requirements. Tall girl has a job and she has been given 3 extra shifts during the week. She has a driving test booked sometime in the last week of August and so she has 3 driving lessons a week booked to prepare. Soon to be 15 son, has band practice and sleepovers 'penciled in Mum'.
I am trying to get everyone synchronised to get down to Kent in next few weeks. Can I organise this one simple thing -please- can l heck. The dog cannot be left. No one can look after her. So Larry has to stay put. Tall girl and son cannot free themselves simultaneously.
Do I take just one of them?
So do I go down by myself?
Shall I claim back 7 of these 25 days holiday I have consumed?
I have some days out pencilled in,but no one wants to come too? It's no fun on my own, but they'd be miserable going to the RA. The Museum of Costume or to Blackwell House in the Lakes?
I have joined the local gym and will go everyday as it's only 150 yards away I have no excuses.
Disappointment, confusion and anticipation. Life is changing as I type. Sigh!
Tough eh... and yes, time to look after yourself as you are not surplus to, but peripheral to their requirements!
ReplyDeleteWe feel the same - hard to get them to housesit. We have booked their services three months ahead so we can go away - their activities will have to fit in!!!!
.. too many pets for kennels etc.
Don't waste the days - go to Kent alone! I love having time with my parents alone!
Tough to coordinate everything. Enjoy your tinme off.
ReplyDeleteJust catching up on my blog reading. Funny how we all view the Summer Holidays in different ways and according to the ages of our children.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it's the time when I can do the things I haven't time for in term time. Last year daughter needed lots of attention, but this year she is more self sufficient (she played in her bedroom this morning for an hour rather than wake us! Yay!) so I'm looking forward to some time for me (in amongst the DIY, decorating the kitchen, stripping paint off the bannisters, etc, etc)
Saz, hope you find the solution to this dilemma - The worst you could do is to sit around waiting for them, and end up doing nothing for yourself...
ReplyDeleteThey are growing up, and part of that is re-claiming ourselves... I'm not sure what the right answer is, but do make the most of your time off, my darling! I'm off for almost 4 weeks from mid-August, and I was planning loads of things, but now the back - Ack! Love to you, Fhi xxx
isn't it so weird when they start just wanting to do their own thing? Teenager happy to be with us if no pals available but if there are.... no sign of him.
ReplyDeleteHe loves to lie in, in the morning. I can be in the office for a few hours before he even wakes up. It is a relief because I can spend time with him when he is free and still get my work don. He is on a five day rugby programme next week with evenings arranged with pals ...
yes- it is taking some getting used to... a mixture of sadness and excitement... new avenues are opening for me, and for other half and I.
X
Aww you have just burst my bubble, i constantly wish my life away thinking "just get these firt few years out of the way and then when they're older we can go on shopping, spa, museum trips together and finally really enjoy family life"!" But after reading this i realise whilst i will finally relish quality time with my girls i won't be flavour of the month anymore and will just be a embarrasing mum they don't want to spend their weekends with. I am still a tinsy bit jelous of your "me"| time though - why don't you do a Shirley Valentine and go abroad for a week, they'll soon be missing you then :)
ReplyDeleteI'm one week into a 7 week summer holiday break (I work in education). It's not the same when the kids are grown up is it, they entertain themselves and don't include you! :(
ReplyDelete"I've always had a little part time work of some sort since I stopped real work (indeed life as I knew - and loved- it) after I had the first baby. " I could have written this. Strange life isn't it?
ReplyDeleteMaybe save your hols for another time? Or do the things you want to with friends instead?
Gosh, I empathize. My kids are out of the house. Yesterday The Husband and me went to the beach. I twittered about our trip and when I got home I had an e-mail from my son saying he wished I would have told him. UH? He's always busy. It didn't occur to me that he'd come along with the wife and son. Oh well, it is hard to coordinate these lives of ours.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what--have a good time and take advantage of your vacation days to recharge your batteries.
Oh, dear. So confusing, so many changes with the teens, pets, hubbies, jobs. You will work it out!
ReplyDeleteBut I know they do still need you, even if they can't say so. They do, they do. Just to be around, to hear the random truths that might tumble out. You are so, so needed. And for that reason, be kind to you!
much love...
I wish I had some lovely magical advice for you, but I come up empty. The best I can do is to say that I hope all works out and you greatly enjoy your time off :-)
ReplyDeleteI just took two weeks off with DH - it was great! Oldest son (17) stayed home to look after the dogs and birds and we shipped middle son (15) to my sister`s and baby girl (14) to friend's house (also many miles away). We came home yesterday to a "relatively" clean and tidy house, all the kids had arrived before us and so far the only damage was the foot of a crystal flower vase. We just had to make time for ourselves and I can report that it actually worked!
ReplyDeleteI would say you're in the prime of life. Where I come from we like our females to have a bit of meat on them.
ReplyDeleteI vote for go on your own .. or wait for me and I will go with you
ReplyDeleteDifficult decisions to make. It's hard to just up sticks and do your own thing when not used to it, but there's always a way.
ReplyDeleteWe hardly ever go anywhere as a family because either the Farmer and myself need to stay on the farm.
CJ xx
Run off and join the navy. It's the only adult response.
ReplyDeleteSo funny! My sister (1 year younger than me) has kids the same age as my top two, but no "bonus baby". She's lamenting the fact that she and her husband have to take the dogs for a walk sans kids because they'd rather be with their friends, and my hubby and I can't believe that we still have a child (6) who basically needs 100% supervision.
ReplyDeleteThe Stones? "You can't always have what you want". Sometimes you don't even know what it is. (Don't try and write a chart-topping song with that second sentence; it's copyrighted!)
Well if you fancy having a drive over this way give me a call!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you do when the kids (think they) don't need you?
ReplyDeleteWait until they do need you... :-)
You're coming to Kent!! We're trying to escape - funny isn't it where you are all the time doesn't always seem appealing, although I was driving yesterday and thought what a lovely county I live in