Gold Dust

 

Just arrived two gold dust tickets for the Saturday!

I was tempted to give them to my kids, for about a milli second, 

and why should I?

 we all applied and heck I want to see Foo Fighters and PLAN B. 

God I love Strickland banks LP sorry CD!

Blink

a blink of an eye
and it could pass you by

unnoticed
unmeasured

a stolen glance
a touch
a moment

gone
its only trace
a bruise
no one can see

yet I can feel it
with each in breath
and every beat of my heart

would I have missed it
if I had blinked once
out of time

not a chance

a late springing

snow topped hills

peek out upon the horizon

last weeks frost lingers

in the thick earth

the sun is higher in the blue,

volcanic ash-free skies

bare branches stretch out
proudly showing off their new buds

crowded cafe tables

clutter the streets

renewed vigour and hope
drowns out
the winter blues

daffodils stand tall
wave bravely,

a new hairstyle
trashed in the fresh breeze

exposed hands and feet
in open toe shoes, chilled

manicured toes and fingernails,
defiantly painted slut red

sunglasses perched
at the ready on head

breathing deeply of the sweeter spring air
the promise of new beginnings

Times passes...

it's been nearly a month since l last posted and l don't know where the time has gone. I haven't posted because I haven't thought of a blog post, a topic, haven't felt the need to rant, cry or cheer.

I have just been.... still, watching, waiting, mulling, living.

I haven't been particularly busy, but I have been thinking a lot...and thinking time is the best of times (it can be crap too) but I like the way that problems, answers to questions and general musings mutate into solutions.

And when l say thinking time, l am not frenetically analysing stuff, I am just absorbing and letting things wash over me. This is not something l would usually do. But then this is not my usual. It's my now. And so I just accept it. And each day a problem turns into a solution, general niggles seem to right themselves.

The blog(s) have filled a hole, have kept me company, entertained, enriched and consoled me and sometimes divided my own opinions. A crutch. A friend. indeed.

As l make my own way. find my space. open my eyes and watch and listen. I find I am comfortable in just letting the tide come in and then as it must, go out.

I think perhaps letting go and believing in self is the key here. The realisation of it all,  just takes time.

the return

I know the how
I know the when
I know I am diminished by the why
and dismissal plunders deep

the skin dries, peels,
sheds
over and over
and over

the new virgin flesh
is supple and chaste
moistened

divest of mind clutter
massage gently
at the points of remember

feelings
left
to float beside me
lay comfortably

accepting
of their presence
not needing
to feel or do

it just is...


( I found this in my drafts, revisited it is even more so a truth)

One year on

and I find I am still breathing,

feeling,

loving,

holding my life in my hands

one year on

and I find I am void of anger,

bitterness,

holding still, a little disappointment

one year on,

I find much is the same,

friends, family

others,

holding me back from shadow

one year on

and I find I like myself, 

no longer lost,

hidden, 

settling for less, for the sake of  'us',

holding on to the real me again

one year on,

and I find much is different,

mostly within me,

I hunger for life

I thirst for courage

I mostly breathe

in wonder

one year on

and I find I am filled with curiosity,

realising that what was, isn't all there is,

isn't all there should be,

holding out for a better way,

a better me

14th February 2011

Bottoms up!

Cheers! Slainte! Prost! L'chaim! 
Skal!  Na zdoroviel!  Sante!
cin cin!
 Up yours!

time for extreme measures...

everything is just fine here

xxxx