What's with this?

After l  finished work today I called in at the local supermarket for a small amount of foodstuffs to see us through to midweek when I'll do a major food shop. 

I finished up and went to a checkout which had  a half empty/full conveyor belt. A lady in red coat stood in front of me, I started to unload my trolley. 

She turned around to face me arms folded and said, 

' Actually my husband should be along in a moment with our basket.'

I said, 'I'm sorry is this a new procedure?'

She said, ' What do you mean?' in the accent of a fellow Brit southerner. If l could I would have replied in broad Cumbria-Wigtonian speak, but I couldn't pull it off it would have  sounded more Welsh  meets Urdu.

I replied but in my head, as one does in a split second of thought, 

' Well it's a bit like the notorious German tourist sneaking down with a beach towel and saving a sunbed for himself and Mrs Ludwig!'

Instead I just sighed and glared at her in mammoth way and removed my items back to my trolley. I folded my arms and continued my glare, she turned her back and I bore man holes in to the back of her head.

I'm quite impressed with myself, as those who have met me probably know that if pushed,  eyelashes will freeze at ten paces when I get going, but I though shit I just can't be bothered to take this up a gear. 

It ain't worth it or I'm worth more.

ROOM 101

"Room 101" is the place where unpleasant things are put or discarded and originates in the book, 'Nineteen eighty four'  by George Orwell, there is also a BBC TV programme Room 101 where personalities ask for 5 of their pet peeves to be discarded into Room 101 and then attempt to justify their choices. 

Here are mine..

Boiled milk - and it associated foods, rice pudding, blancmange, thick lumpy custard, porridge and trifle - only because it contains custard. to me this is the work of the devil and should be put and remain into Room 101.  It's the smell of the boiled milk, the slimy texture.  I actually quite like the smell and taste of custard. My dislike is so vehement that I couldn't post an accompanying image as I found myself almost retching!

Football commentators- the banal fast talking commentators with their boyish enthusiasm, who make stupid and what they think are comic remarks. I just want to slap them! But at least I can turn them off!

Motorway Middle lane hoggers - those who stay in the middle lane as if it is their divine right, when the inside lane is bloody well EMPTY, I superciliously weave in and out showing them how it should be done, I'm sure they don't even notice, sitting ignorantly in their middling cars. Shove over!

Business Telephone menus - though I suspect this is a given, doesn't everyone want the earth to open and envelop them? I have to say for me the worst culprits are those companies that profess to be in the communication business. Can I name and shame them, yeah why not its my blog and it's the truth? The culprits are -BT, SKY and mobile phone and Internet providers... I just don't get it! I admit that I have sometimes been in tears trying to get through and communicate with these people. It took me 5 weeks and a registered letter to cancel my SKY subscription, they just won't talk to you, they have put the phone down on me several tiems when my question isn't on their list. How rude, there must be  a non-accessibility policy l'm sure!

Nylon sheets- they catch on your nails, skin and they produce their own Electro Shock Treatment, so they might make you Happy! but they are awfully uncomfortable and sweaty. Just as bad are nylon frilly duvet covers and pillow cases, for me its like dragging nails down a black board.

Moustaches - I am an all or nothing girl -in just about everything- and whilst I like a beard - indeed Larry sported a beard on our Wedding day and I think they are attractive - a moustache leaves me cold. It can look like a slug on the lip! Some aren't trimmed or well-kempt*. Some men even grow out the layers and they look like one of those small shaggy dogs! Some have droopy edges, some have waxed or soaped pointy ends, Urghhhh! I think l'm gonna thro up. (Contrarily the only man with a moustache I wouldn't put into Room 101 is Tom Selleck, I guess there is always an exception to the rule, somehow he doesn't look a dandy, a fop or a twerp! 

And btw a  goatie beard just passes muster, but only just!

* unsure of the spelling I double checked on the word well-kempt, hyphen or not to hyphen. Apparently the word is an olde word and has been relegated to Room 101 according to the online dictionary!

ABC WEDNESDAY - Y is for....

YESTERDAYS SNOW!!

We don't often get snow here in Carlisle, Cumbria

because we live in a basin which is a renowned flood plain

in the mouth of the Solway Firth

when it does snow it's usually here and gone in a matter of hours

so last night about 8pm it started and it settled

the kids got excited

at 11.30pm I took my camera out

and tried to capture the moment

-not very well I might add-

what with the light, the wet flakes attacking my camera and the flash going crazy

I hardly managed unfuzzled image

I hope it captures something of the moment

For the home of ABC Wednesday, go to Mrs Nesbitt's Place.

Picture tag!

CLICK ON IMAGE TO ENLARGE

I've been tagged by MEL  and l found this image

to be the 4th image in the 4th photo folder...

it may seem familiar as

I have posted it before here in the summer

this is Agatha, my Miss Marple bike- get it?

Its a Pashley cycle in the old style

I always wanted an old style bike

with wicker basket and strong lady frame

I can't get on with on a modern style with their zillion gears,

slimline tyres and narrow saddles

upon which to perch precariously

my generous arse !

Pippa our black labrador is seemingly always in any shot we atke.

Please Mr Postman...

... look and see is there a letter, a letter for me?

And if there is dont't effing well ring my doorbell at 7.20am on an effing Saturday morning. Especially when I am all cuddled up in my warm bed! Because weekdays you usually arrive after 9.30 am every morning and so I don't get my mail until I return from work. I had no alarm set for once this Saturday and Larry told me he would get up for the dog and I should lay in for once.

I often work weekends (5 out of every 8 on a shift rota, which only the ancient Egyptians can figure out its that complicated) and so to me this is Nirvana. The doorbell made me jump up and lose the quilt into the freezing cold room- the heating hadn't warmed up the home yet.

The doorbell - which sounded more like the bells, the bells of Notre Dame to my ears and my crouched over Quasimodo like frame. I reach out blindly for my specs and fall over the dog sleeping on the floor on my slippers, I collected my cold naked body (not a pretty sight I assure you, as I now get so hot at night in bed - for hormonal reasons you understand, that when Larry is home the bed is almost to hot to bear clothing and a duvet) - oh dear too much information I hear you mutter - sorry!

I get up too quickly and I slam into the wall ouch!  I sumo wrestle myself blindly still sans spec's into my dressing gown which is now upside down , I huff an puff myself into it correctly. I swear under my breath. Then into the still very dark hall I notice the gown is now inside out,  I'm awake enough to be embarrassed whether Mr Postman notices this fact or not and I care enough to take it off quickly trying to sort out the knot of sleeves. Swearing louder, working faster so the ding, dang, ding , dong doorbell doesn't ring again and wake everyone in the house, cos then I won't get to sleep again. I catch a glimpse of my crooked morning face- why does the pillow do that to me- a morning crease that leaves a deep groove up from my nostril to my eye and is sometimes still there at midday- my hair looks like shagging hair as if I had a good night actually - er I hadn't had a good night actually.

I unlock the door, the poor postman is standing there looking frozen but cheery, I can't think why, I really daren't think why,   I say brightly, 'You're an early bird!' oh!  the drivel he must hear from people in the morning, well I tried to be nice and I signed for half a dozen packages, which I notice are all for my daughter, then I notice my mother's writing (why does this always make me smile?) even though I now know who to blame for my awful early start!

I turn and close the door, put the mail on the chair and nearly trip over the dog - black- in the darker hallway who now wants out for a pee, so I walk blondely towards the kitchen and SMASH my shin on the effing dog basket, it still hurts like a bugger now!

I did return to bed although only for another hour hopeful of starting the morning over .. . and it turned out  ok and I had a lovely day alone with Larry.

Doctor.... no!

...the Doctor David is leaving us for pastures new after 3 more special episodes,

but not until end of 2009 ....

and just when I have come out forom behind the sofa!

Tennant and Ecclestone (Chris not Bernie)

have both been sublime and added new dimensions to the role

only previously dreamt about or glimpsed in the Star Trek canon ....

Matt Smith, 26 from Northampton,

has been seen I hear in 24 hour party people and with Rose in the Ruby and Smoke of????

I await 2010 with unbated breath and palpitation free heart,

as this choice at first impression reminds me of and

I can only describe him from my perspective,

as a boy who looks like a cross between a new romantic punk Duran Duran reject

after a few rounds with Mickey Rourke,

did you catch the nose on the boy?

He will l'm sure grow into his face by his late 30's,

which many will now go on and no doubt describe as an interesting or an edgy look.

His Mum will be so proud, won't she!

Things I've Done

Being a compulsive list maker, this appealed bigtime, check it out over at Michelle's, she had a list of things people can do. You bold the ones on the list that you've done

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars.

3. Played in a band- school band

4. Visited Hawaii

5. Watched a meteor shower

6. Given more than you can afford to charity

7. Been to Disneyland (Disney World)

8. Climbed a mountain- does Arthurs seat count or  a Fell

9. Held a praying mantis

10. Sang a solo

11. Bungee jumped

12. Visited Paris

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch

15. Adopted a child

16. Had food poisoning

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty- it was cosed but I got there

18. Grown your own vegetables

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France

20. Slept on an overnight train

21. Had a pillow fight

22. Hitch hiked

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill 

24. Built a snow fort

25. Held a lamb

26. Gone skinny dipping

27. Run a Marathon- Run for life

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice - I WISH

29. Seen a total eclipse

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset

31. Hit a home run -in rounders

32. Been on a cruise

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors

35. Seen an Amish community

36. Taught yourself a new language

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied (in general)

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person

39. Gone rock climbing

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David - at the V&A

41. Sung karaoke

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt -  Popocatelpetl smoke

43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant

44. Visited Africa- the continent Tunisia

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight

46. Been transported in an ambulance

47. Had your portrait painted - In Montmartre

48. Gone deep sea fishing

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person- I WISH

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling

52. Kissed in the rain

53. Played in the mud

54. Gone to a drive-in theater

55. Been in a movie

56. Visited the Great Wall of China

57. Started a business

58. Taken a martial arts class

59. Visited Russia

60. Served at a soup kitchen

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies

62. Gone whale watching-porpoises

63. Got flowers for no reason

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma

65. Gone sky diving

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp

67. Bounced a check

68. Flown in a helicopter

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial

71. Eaten Caviar

72. Pieced a quilt

73. Stood in Times Square

74. Toured the Everglades

75. Been fired from a job

76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London

77. Broken a bone

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person

80. Published a book - a book review

81. Visited the Vatican

82. Bought a brand new car

83. Walked in Jerusalem

84. Had your picture in the newspaper

85. Read the entire Bible

86. Visited the White House - well outside on Penn ave!

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating

88. Had chickenpox

89. Saved someone’s life- given blood

90. Sat on a jury

91. Met someone famous

92. Joined a book club

93. Lost a loved one

94. Had a baby

95. Seen the Alamo in person

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake

97. Been involved in a law suit

98. Owned a cell phone

99. Been stung by a bee

100. Read an entire book in one day 

I think thats 73 or there abouts..