thwarted

there are so many silences..

all are a deafness
that defies all words,

moments chosen,
friendships thwarted,
a need to control
the unknown

I chose silence,
but the white noise
resents my reasoning,

fear and self loathing
take over the lease,
as we run from our shadows
and cleave pathways
in the wilderness,
hacking away at distrust
that is only mine,

fear must be owned
l can do that
but will I
trust me again

will you

to my friends,

family and colleagues,

just because ....

thanks x

stooping

It twists,

and curls

its tendrils

rising high above me

Bewitched,

I glance at the almost full moon

clear and luminous

its glow reflected into my eyes

feeding me

and upon the snow lined path

before me

A hanging fog

like the shawl around me,

a translucent flourish

of paisley coil,

a wisp that disappears in seconds

I exhale and momentarily

it's in sight again

only to vanish as I reach out

elusive in the dark

It leaves its odour on my flesh,

I feel and smell it close,

taste it,

lick and bite my lips

tantalising and teasing,

I inhale to catch the magic

deep within my creases

my heart pounds

as it burns way down,

my throat aches

am light of head

Moments stolen upon my stoop

a pack of lies in my pocket

Sara

Hanging in here..

l am giver, never a leaver
I am sister, never a sibling
I am leader, rarely a follower

l am keeper, never a deserter
I am teacher, never a preacher
I am listener, always a shoulder

l am worker, never a shirker
I am stayer, never a faker
I am sayer, always a friend

I am sinner, sometimes a player
I am hoper, never a runner
I am singer, always a song


I am a believer, never a no hoper
I am lover, never a hater
I am woman, always a warrior

Sara x

James Taylor - Wichita Lineman - Grammy Nominated

' ... and I need you more than want you..', gets me every time and catches in my throat

Sublime Shakey

SONNET 20

A woman's face with Nature's own hand painted

Hast thou, the master-mistress of my passion;

A woman's gentle heart, but not acquainted

With shifting change, as is false women's fashion;

An eye more bright than theirs, less false in rolling,

Gilding the object whereupon it gazeth;

A man in hue, all 'hues' in his controlling,

Much steals men's eyes and women's souls amazeth.

And for a woman wert thou first created;

Till Nature, as she wrought thee, fell a-doting,

And by addition me of thee defeated,

By adding one thing to my purpose nothing.

But since she prick'd thee out for women's pleasure,

Mine be thy love and thy love's use their treasure.

Rufus Wainwright

Taking a break...

A train with a view

lucky capture

stone wall

in winter

Ribblehead Viaduct ? I believe

at Moannie's

my old new best friend, Milou

dog walking every afternoon

blows away

any cobwebs

revisiting old haunts

realigning memories

and misspent deeds

Reculver Towers

Minnis Bay & Margate

in the walkable distance

Down time ... Postponed - Revisited?

To avoid profound and expensive repairs to this blogger, it has been deemed necessary to close down at regular intervals. I have decided to adopt a planned approach to these periodical rest days. Most necessary to sustain and replenish, and hopefully involve much body tune ups in a prostrate position, supine and floating in a bath of gin. A handsome infertile flexible male to peel me grapes and feed my whims. 




So for the nest few days, I shall be unavailable due to routine maintenance. To keep this blogger running smoothly,it may be prudent to install flash players, oh yeah baby!


In other words - l'm driving letting the train take the strain down to the parents, Moannie and JP for some tlc. Which will no doubt include the prostrate position on couch, watching with mother; Milou on hand to pet; some deep meaningful lunches with a strong Latin edge; much rolling of eyes and side aching laughter. 


Back next week.


At the time of writing this post I was good to go.... then a glitch and a postponement until December. Disappointing but...


Life's like that.


It's December and it's still snowing, melting, refreezing and snowing again..n subject to the trains, l shall be at Moannie's Wednesday evening...


Carlisle .-15' coldest place in England this morning
Kent?...will report in words and pics over the coming days....


Saz x

a new way

the rains subside
resentment washes into the gutters
and the watchman unseen
cold under the street light
onside

the snows came

and chilled my blazing heart

burning my lungs

threatening to crush
leaving hard choices

much love, empathy and words 

shored up my hunger

three women in defiance

led me through the listening gate

and I emerge strengthened

for me it is now done

the shame of having lost myself

within a fog of dull, empty expectations

my truth revealed one more

l can forgive and leave its smell

upon those that did not see me

did not care to see

a gate unlatched by unwitting hands

he left me open and wanting
the sap rises

daily shedding a layer

until l could ache no longer

the watchman showed me the way

harvesting a cleansing flame

licking the shames and secrets

into the fire

leaving my sallow skin ashen and dry

my hopes, our failures

discarded without reference

no longer enabling or colluding, 

defiant l rise

to capture the moments that are only mine

Some christmas spirit

Christmas is forcing itself upon Carlisle

I helped run a stall/shed/shack/shop thingy in the town centre over the weekend

freeZINg weather, snow and no chill factor thank god

it was a pr event for the Museum

and we had some fun and kept warmer than expected

I tried to capture our surroundings