The 'what wasn'ts ' are left where they are, filed and duly noted, I shall unremember them.
However for the 'what was' ' and that which I choose to bring with me into 2014, are the things that are memorable, enriching, happy and surprising, be them the tiniest fragment of joy or the biggest new thing on the block!
I didn't get off to a great start in January as we had only recently lost Mumma a few months before, the countdown to my son's second year of uni starting mud summer in the States and i was in the middle of a roller-coaster of negotiations trying to secure a business lease and plan for a potential opening. I wasn't at my best and i was running low on fuel.
However as always when faced with a challenge I was defiant and rose to several occasions, decisions with all the positivity I could muster and determined to secure a purpose for myself and create something new for the city and opportunities for like-minded creatives and enthusiasts.
For most of the year I have been up to my painted eyebrows in lists, plans, accounts, coffee by the bucket load. The summer came and went, a few calm hours spent swinging in my hammock with Monty lounging in the shade underneath!
My son bravely ventured to up-state new York, defiantly resisting a few weeks at home for the seasonal holidays, where he remains, working hard, playing too, retaining A grades all round and Skype-ing his mum on demand! Bless the boy.
My friends, as always, have supported me at every step, picked me up when I stumbled and kicked me up the bum when I doubted ...I thank you all. I only hope I give back adequately when you need me.
My siblings,with whom we initially reunited in hardened purpose and now have found ourselves in friendship, is a surprising joy and gift.
I am excited to be adding to my wee family as I am hoping to rescue a small pup and he should arrive in a few weeks time...it will be like having a toddler in the house again. watch this space, it really all rests on whether the cat approves!!
The future is brighter, actually NO!! the NOW is brighter..I want to be present in the now, 'cos it's taken me a long time to realise, I mean really realise, that is all we have.
The past is gone, over, just a memory somewhere inside...but being present and tangibly making myself FEEL everything, every word, thought, feeling, touch...is all there is, and all there ever will be...no more what if's, no more well this might or might not happen...
It is Now writing this post, that matters and is the only real thing, this moment...
and so here is 2014, unfolding...live in each moment... now that IS exciting!
|Joey - 4 months old, arriving early Feb|