Skip to main content

as sleep eludes me

I find myself meandering through blogland and rifling through others' pages and places ,
I know I should avoid some, they only serve to remind where I cannot go... 

I have been overwhelmed with my new business in a good way and I wrap myself up in it by day and evening, my passion and now my bread and butter is one. A dream come true....you would think that would satisfy but it does not entirely. There is still this void.
Once full of family life, my children, my mum and a tie that binds, I now wander through my busy days, hands busy, mind full of tasks outstanding, plotting and planning, endless list making, all a joy,
but my heart is heavy and I cannot fill this gaping empty hole... I miss so much, and so many.
Still, I keep busy....

It has been a year already and so Moannie's/Mum's first anniversary two weeks ago was spent with my brother and sister, who made the road trip up to Carlisle. The first time anyone has been to visit me from down home, since I moved here as a weary wife and a besotted mum,  almost 18 years ago....

we knew it was a gift Mum would have wanted more than anything else, to see her three kids reunited after years of estrangement....her illness brought us together with a purpose, but her death has brought us together in friendship and for that I am thankful.

I took them on a whistle stop tour from Gretna Green, to Castlerigg Stone circle (one of my favourite places) to Keswick, Derwentwater, Grasmere, Windermere, Bowness, a three ' man ' boat trip, onto Kendal, Shap and Penrith and returning to Carlisle and food...they also visited my business Warwick Tower .
We remembered and talked about Mum a lot of the time and had some silent time in the Cathedral...which was interrupted, oddly, by an in house Jazz band...oh God how she would have laughed and loved that...as did we.

heres a few pics of our time...
siblings messing about

london girl in cashmere layers and high heels, optimistic brother forgot his coat

should have put them on the stage mrs worthington

me, big sis...attempting to hide my fear of water not being knee deep

one of the most perfect and peaceful places in the Lake District

Derwentwater

just like our Mum, sis can always strike a  glam pose


I can't help but notice a slight family resemblance
Saz x

Comments

  1. I did think of your mama the other week.....and hoped that your dad was doing well. What lovely photos and how wonderful to see siblings together.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There is a certain family familiarity between the three of you.

    I can't believe it is over a year since your Mum passed on. Where is the time going?

    It was my brother's marriage falling apart that finally got us back together after years ignoring and avoiding each other. Today he phoned me within 10 mins of becoming a Granddad to share the news - and I was his best man at his marriage at Gretna three years ago. We're going back there this year just for a night whilst heading to the Highlands for a holiday him and his wife, me and mine ... who'd have thought that would happen 10 years ago - we barely spoke then.

    Good news on business - but I hope you find a way for not all work and no fun.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A silver lining to your loss
    - a year already :( - Miss her heaps

    ReplyDelete
  4. For some reason this post didn't come up on my blogroll and I found it by accident. Lovely to see you in action again. I'm scared stiff if the water beneath me is over my ankles - didn't know we had that in common!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh yes, Moannie would have loved that! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wonderful pics again Saz. I've so missed you here.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x

Popular posts from this blog

Tesco - every little helps

Last year I bought myself a new camera online from Tesco. One of those emails arrived in my inbox with a 'deal of the day'  and for me the camera was the dog bollocks, in as much as it had a large 8 mega pixel whatsit .... and a large LCD, and yes I do like things big.. say no more! Oh and it is red! which is almost as good as purple but not quite, like size colour of inanimate objects does matter. It was a great price and the bonus was that it came with a, yes you guessed it, large  memory card. Total cost £74.
It arrived quickly but not with the promised memory card, so I contacted Tesco and they apologised, told me they'd run out and would credit me for the cost of the memory card. I found to my surprise a credit of £36.99 in my bank account, so the camera was only £37! I bought the same memory card from Amazon for a few pounds only, so a  result, thank you Tesco!
A few weeks ago my girlfriend's washing machine broke down in its last month before the 12 month warranty…

What a difference....

a year makes!

It has taken me the better part of the last month, to access my blogs (and Moannie's) as I feared it had alas been removed from the ether. Playing around with passwords and email addresses...I'm in again.

My last post , just 10 months ago...burst my seams, as again I realised how so much has changed!

I'm still,  in my new wee home, with Joey (dog) and Monty (cat).

My lovely son has returned from uni in the USA, attained a First Class degree and started work in London last Autumn as a writer...the world his oyster for the taking! My hero!

My beautiful daughter is in Leeds, amid her Midwifery degree, working at a Brazilian first class restaurant, all loved up with the Spanish Chef.... a meeting is on the cards AND he is taking her to meet his Mama is Spain this summer, so must be serious methinks! So proud!

My hugely supportive brother (TOAOS) is living contently in the Garden of England with his wife and Harry the cutest dog!!

My younger and what a stunner sis…

moments...

..and here we are firmly into a new year and I am sitting up wide awake in bed, yet again... I am reflecting upon what was in 2013 and what wasn't.

The 'what wasn'ts ' are left where they are, filed and duly noted, I shall unremember them.

However for the 'what was' ' and that which I choose to bring with me into 2014, are the things that are memorable, enriching, happy and surprising, be them the tiniest fragment of joy or the biggest new thing on the block!

I didn't get off to a great start in January as we had only recently lost Mumma a few months before, the countdown to my son's second year of uni starting mud summer in the States and i was in the middle of a roller-coaster of negotiations trying to secure a business lease and plan for a potential opening. I wasn't at my best and i was running low on fuel.

However as always when faced with a challenge I was defiant and rose to several occasions, decisions with all the positivity I could mus…