I am in reflective mood and in a bit of a rut,
whilst trying to make things work,
I'm swinging from low to high,
back and forth...
I find writing down my mish-mash of thoughts always helps
and so I'm thinking about how in the last three years,
my long marriage broke up,
I moved house with my son,
in the process my daughter withdrew from me.
I got divorced.
A lovely man found me and then I lost him.
My son left home for university and
my mum fought a year long cancer battle,
I moved house, again.
Now I am at a crossroads,
no responsibilities other than myself,
with no real social or personal life,
I am focusing on the things I CAN change,
new business waiting in the wings,
or rather the red tape to be cut through,
then day by day, I begin..
written out like this and read over and over,
it reads like a pity party (well it is, I am)
but I always get up in the morning and begin again,
day after day...
I want more... so quitting isn't an option
but jeez is it tough...
two steps forward, one step back,
it's all progress