Saturday, 10 December 2011

I feel....

like I need to come home a while. ...I hope no one minds. I can't put my finger on it, but I have been drawn back here the last few weeks, quietly loitering. Perhaps its 'cos my new blog is now dedicated to updates about my Mama, and so I don't feel l should be writing about me and mine. So I have dusted it down and redecorated in a soothing tone to suit my mood.

So I'm gonna post here and there as and when  I feel like. Cos I CAN!!

Since I last posted, life has changed dramatically here; obviously in September I was granted my divorce and that was a incredible relief. However a downturn in Moannie's health has changed everything, my perspective in terms of it's the NOW that is important and that I should grab that thing by its balls and run with it, sod those thoughts that screw you over thinking about them ad infinitum. Do it Sara! But what that thing I'm gonna run with is, has yet to present itself..... though l do have a few new ideas l am kicking around!

Also my job situation is very precarious, I have applied for voluntary redundancy as it would fit quite well with what's going on here just now, but its been refused, so I will probably end up doing a job I don't care for, but I have to swallow that too. For now.

My kids are in great shape. I have only seen my daughter twice this year as lives with her Dad now, and she returns from uni next week, it would be lovely to see her, but she is a very different place and time, so I go with the flow. My lovely son is the rock he has always been, and even more so right now, bless him. Does he know how much I adore him?  Do they ever realise the impact they have? I bet he can't wait to go to uni next year, and break the apron strings. I can't even bear to think about being here alone, but he will have a great time l know it, so I keep imagining a new start somewhere far away, but that is really not gonna be practical on many levels.

I have a few more weeks off work, with the residue  of my whiplash injury playing up in this damp weather and a couple of other health issues. So christmas prep is done and dusted, cake made, pressies wrapped (such as they are) and if I can be arsed I may put up the tree. the kids are to their Dad's this year and l am gonna lounge on the couch with Jack and Jimmy .....   (Daniels & Hendricks have you met them?) and on New Years eve lets kick the year up its butt big time. I am hopeful the Gin Queens will reunite to repeat last years' escapade in town!!

Hogarth would have been proud!

Saz x

(it's good to be back)

11 comments:

  1. Darling, I am so glad you have reinstated FFF. This New Year is going to bring a whole new world to you. You know I am a witch...

    It really is a bugger that you guys are having to put your lives on hold for me..so make this a momma free zone and I'll not lurk. Love you more..XXX

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  2. Lurk all you like Mama!!!!

    witchy poo!!


    luv sazzie xx

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  3. Another 'room' for you to kick off your shoes drink gin and ponder on this and that...sounds good to me.

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  4. We all go through periods like this in our lives and it's just your turn to kick back and ponder. Once your son has gone off on his next adventure, you will begin a new one of your own. Been there...I know of which I speak. Live for today, but dream of tomorrow. Hugs,

    Leslie

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  5. Welcome back.
    Its not easy when things change and affect our lives so much. I know that my husband & I have caused our children much worry because of our health. It has a knock on effect on the whole family.

    Hope the job will go unexpectedly well & that you might enjoy it more than you thought.

    Hope you'll see both your children, maybe if not at Christmas, then in the New Year.
    Life is too short & we must grab it by the horns. I know you do just that.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  6. Welcome back Saz. So good to read your post and I wish Moanie the best too. x

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  7. Good to read you Saz. Wish we were closer, you know you are always welcome here if you can make it x

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  8. What an annus horribilis for you.No wonder you want to be home and lick your wounds. It's natural. In the new year I would try to find things you like doing which will either fill your time (like me with my house decorating) or things that help you to make new friends. That way, when your son leaves for uni you will have distractions to keep you busy. Lots of hugs and empathy. Addy x

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  9. "..with Jack and Jimmy ..... (Daniels & Hendricks have you met them?)"

    What a WONDERFUL line, wish I had thought of it! I am so sorry to hear about Moannie, I've not been visiting much lately (as you probably see), and had no idea.

    I think all of us will be glad to put 2011 to bed, 2012 beckons, bringing all new possibilities with it. I have a feeling the new year is going to bring you to a good place, dear Saz - just you wait and see!

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  10. The voluntary redundancy thing sucks - that would have given you some space to rethink things

    Hope all is well with your Mum - I've only started recently reading her blog - if I don't get the chance before I hope you do have a really great new year

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  11. cuz you can is cuz enough
    not talkin bout blogs
    rick

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Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x