Friday, 30 December 2011

2011 and all that..

just reflecting some on the year that was.......  and if I think clearly, which admittedly is a little difficult at this very end of the year, I actually have to confess it was in the most part good in fact I would even go so far as to say a large part of it was great, even special.

However, that best part of it, remains in my pocket, to reflect upon later when l am stronger.

My divorce in September was a huge milestone to reach, kinda crept up upon me as living through it and past it, my feeling was that it was a long time coming. Well yes in fact a longer time coming than just the legal aspects...years long overdue, and that is down to me too. I couldn't do it, even though I should have. I don't give up easily and until presented with a fait accomplis, a no choice scenario, l caved. It wasn't worth fighting for.

As Joni says, '..l look at life from both sides now, from win and lose, and still somehow its lifes illusions l recall...I really don't know love at all...''

Moving on....and the back end of the year has brought some major bumps; restructuring at work, with my job of 8 years  ending and now an unattractive prospective position, I will be interviewed next week.

Time will tell, it always does. I am a fatalist and what is meant to be, will be.

I've not been lucky with my health this year, well with the bloody neck injury and now l am off work again with other issues, but it is allowing me to do all manner of soft activities and l am painting and writing again, which is great.

Of course the biggest bump in the road has been Mum / Moannie's sudden illness and diagnosis, coming to terms with this and managing the day to day isn't easy, but we are all managing under the circumstances. I visit as often as l am able and hope to again mid January.

My son will, results allowing, leave for University after the summer (god yes summer is on its way yay!!) and I will be so happy for him, a great big fat adventure. Then mine will begin perhaps it already has and l just can't see it.....

And so upon reflection, the year has taken a downturn, just as I had begun to believe again... but at least I believe now.

Even though  2012 may bring great sadness, a sadness I have never known, I believe and I hope...and somehow that is enough ...'cos it will see me and mine through....

and so yes to 2012 and all that....

Saz xx

11 comments:

  1. `Faith, Baby! Have faith and it will carry you through the good and the bad so that you come out in the end with success for having weathered everything as it comes your way. It may not all see like that at times, but it will do that and you will be a stronger person in the end. Peace.

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  2. Gosh Saz, what a year you have had. You are a strong woman.

    All will be well in the end, and if it's not, then it's not the end.

    Best wishes Saz, may be we'll see each other in 2012 :-)

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  3. So sorry 2011 has been a bitch, but hoping 2012 will much much better. Miracles do happen!

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  4. Been a bit of a year for you ... hope 2012 is better. Love to you and yours esp your Mum who I know is suffering in her own way with great humour as ever

    The job is ... just a job... something I learnt hard in the last 18 months.

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  5. Fatalist/realist...you are right...what will be will be and we will get through the ups and the downs....believe/have faith...and breathe and smile.x

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  6. Sara, it's all part of life's bitter-sweet journey, my darling...

    As we age, so too do those around us and yet they remain a part of us, wherever they are.

    I am thinking of you and raising a glass to a good year for you, whatever waits in the shadows.

    You said to me a while ago, I think - Onwards and upwards...

    And so it is and shall be.

    Much love to you and thanks for being such an inspiration and beauty <3

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  7. Wow - a lot to cope with. I'm not going to say anything like "We only get what we can cope with" or those other rubbish words, because they're just NO help at all really. I just hope that 2012 is a little kinder to you.
    xx

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  8. It has been quite a year for you but always good to look forward and think of the good times that will have. All the very best to you for 2012.

    CJ x

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  9. keep doing what you know to be right. your kids WILL see. they will.

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  10. 'Together we will ride out the storms'. I really hope and pray all works out well. You deserve it. Believe, Saz dear, believe.

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  11. Here's hoping 2012 will be a good one for you and yours my dear xx

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Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x