Wednesday, 31 August 2011

inching closer


..and closer...this time next Wednesday I will be a single girl. Unmarried. Divorced.

When I received word that my divorce had been granted (on my terms) I was ecstatic, beside myself. It felt like a validation, someone believed me and agreed with my words and feelings.

And yet..the last couple of days have brought feelings of ambivalence and then some sadness, which is to be expected, but frankly I don't like it. It's too near the flat empty place I lived within for so long. I refuse to drown myself in such dampness and hopelessness.

After collecting my decree absolute, freshly stamped and with the ink of the Judge's signature still wet; I will be gathering with my friends. Those who helped me and encouraged me when I needed and when I didn't; those who sat quietly when I needed and who shouted at me when they believed I needed. Some of you are not able to be here in person, so I will raise my glass and think of you often.

I shall not dwell in sadness. I shall keep a torn corner of it and reflect upon it's making from time to time, with renewed perspective and lust for the adventures yet to happen...

I dwell in possibility....

Sara x

p.s. this will  be my final post in this place, as I feel it is now full and complete. I have moved to a new place, a new wide open blank canvas... waiting to be written.  You are welcome to join me.

18 comments:

  1. Sending you the love, I genuinely never thought I'd ever have a truly happy day again when my marriage ended.

    I have had many truly happy days in the 5 years since we separated, many many happy days.

    I know you will too xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wishing you many, many happy days (as stated in the comment above). JM

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good luck to you, you deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. there is so much out there in the world...just waiting for you!...possibilities galore!...go for it and make memories!

    ReplyDelete
  5. One chapter ends and another begins. Both full of ups and downs, fears and thrills, love and heartache. Now the old chapter is behind you, and you keep the worthwhile memories. And the new chapter holds so much promise...

    ReplyDelete
  6. All the best to you...new chapters that we can write ourselves are the best! oxox

    ReplyDelete
  7. good for you, saz. good for you. hold into all that adventure and good.

    i look forward to the day too.

    xo
    erin

    ReplyDelete
  8. Step into the next chapter with a smile....it is a new beginning...how exciting!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Heck. I felt my heart miss a beat. I'm wishing you absolutely lovely times in the part of your life. Big kisses from sunny Kent!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Please let me know where you will be. I'll gladly visit!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Good Luck in your new life.

    Sometimes I still feel sad and have what ifs, but then you have to remember what it was 'really' like.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  12. just found you-- great blog! -- keep up the great work!! :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Sometimes it's been fun, sometimes sad but alwa interesting watching your progress from FFF to FFF to your new role. May the future be ever so bright.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Been gone a long time... For all my ups and downs, I have been more MYSELF since my divorce than I ever was in my marriage. Free within myself as i never was as "the wife of" someone else. And it sounds as if that will be true for you. All the best in every bump, twist, turn, glide, and magnificent step in the next part of your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Very best wishes for the future, Jon

    ReplyDelete
  16. When people ask my marital status, I say I've been happily divorced for fifteen years. And I have. Congratulations to you!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Just checking in to see how you're doing. So, uh, how are you doing?

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x