Skip to main content

One year on

and I find I am still breathing,
feeling,
loving,
holding my life in my hands

one year on
and I find I am void of anger,
bitterness,
holding still, a little disappointment

one year on,
I find much is the same,
friends, family
others,
holding me back from shadow


one year on
and I find I like myself, 
no longer lost,
hidden, 
settling for less, for the sake of  'us',
holding on to the real me again


one year on,
and I find much is different,
mostly within me,
I hunger for life
I thirst for courage
I mostly breathe
in wonder

one year on
and I find I am filled with curiosity,
realising that what was, isn't all there is,
isn't all there should be,
holding out for a better way,

a better me



14th February 2011

Comments

  1. You go girl. Women survive this and are BETTER for it. you will be too. I am filled with hope right next to you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Congrats to you! Keep on thinking about how far you have come, and what wonders lie ahead!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lovely! keep smiling and moving on.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I promise you this, it gets easier, I am a lot further down the road than you and I like my life so much better now xxx

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sounds good - hope that 2011 is a good year for you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good on you darling'.Pa say's 'That's my girl'.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Finding that you like yourself is the best!

    ReplyDelete
  8. What an inspiring, moving and beautiful post, Saz - I'm sure many will relate to it. Love your writing.

    ReplyDelete
  9. the last stanza nails it! i believed you had it in you, that you were of such powerful stuff. saz. here you are. yes!

    xo
    erin

    ReplyDelete
  10. I haven't been on your blog for ages. I've just had a look at your artwork. I love the St Ives paintings especially.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Fantastic!! That is great news. Well done. x

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh this is great! I noted your blog over at Hilary's and had to stop in, like the positive vibe to your words.

    ReplyDelete
  13. That is so beautiful to read,
    I am so happy for you.
    Warm big hug,
    Merisi

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sara
    I think the better you was always there. just needed to be uncaged.
    lovely thoughts
    ~rick

    ReplyDelete
  15. Brava .. you were always a fabulous woman now you are a happy fabulous woman!

    ReplyDelete
  16. getting lost in your work and past posts. What a cool chickie you are!

    ReplyDelete
  17. This is so simple, yet so intense. Personal, moving, inspiring.

    Better? Way to go!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I more-or-less gave you an award over at my place. If you're anything like me, I'm in serious trouble. Thank God, I'm pretty sure you aren't :-)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Just brilliant. So pleased you feel your own strength improving and that wonderful lust for life that reappears - it's just great Lx

    ReplyDelete
  20. this is a most fitting valentine to yourself. bravo!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x

Popular posts from this blog

Tesco - every little helps

Last year I bought myself a new camera online from Tesco. One of those emails arrived in my inbox with a 'deal of the day'  and for me the camera was the dog bollocks, in as much as it had a large 8 mega pixel whatsit .... and a large LCD, and yes I do like things big.. say no more! Oh and it is red! which is almost as good as purple but not quite, like size colour of inanimate objects does matter. It was a great price and the bonus was that it came with a, yes you guessed it, large  memory card. Total cost £74.
It arrived quickly but not with the promised memory card, so I contacted Tesco and they apologised, told me they'd run out and would credit me for the cost of the memory card. I found to my surprise a credit of £36.99 in my bank account, so the camera was only £37! I bought the same memory card from Amazon for a few pounds only, so a  result, thank you Tesco!
A few weeks ago my girlfriend's washing machine broke down in its last month before the 12 month warranty…

What a difference....

a year makes!

It has taken me the better part of the last month, to access my blogs (and Moannie's) as I feared it had alas been removed from the ether. Playing around with passwords and email addresses...I'm in again.

My last post , just 10 months ago...burst my seams, as again I realised how so much has changed!

I'm still,  in my new wee home, with Joey (dog) and Monty (cat).

My lovely son has returned from uni in the USA, attained a First Class degree and started work in London last Autumn as a writer...the world his oyster for the taking! My hero!

My beautiful daughter is in Leeds, amid her Midwifery degree, working at a Brazilian first class restaurant, all loved up with the Spanish Chef.... a meeting is on the cards AND he is taking her to meet his Mama is Spain this summer, so must be serious methinks! So proud!

My hugely supportive brother (TOAOS) is living contently in the Garden of England with his wife and Harry the cutest dog!!

My younger and what a stunner sis…

moments...

..and here we are firmly into a new year and I am sitting up wide awake in bed, yet again... I am reflecting upon what was in 2013 and what wasn't.

The 'what wasn'ts ' are left where they are, filed and duly noted, I shall unremember them.

However for the 'what was' ' and that which I choose to bring with me into 2014, are the things that are memorable, enriching, happy and surprising, be them the tiniest fragment of joy or the biggest new thing on the block!

I didn't get off to a great start in January as we had only recently lost Mumma a few months before, the countdown to my son's second year of uni starting mud summer in the States and i was in the middle of a roller-coaster of negotiations trying to secure a business lease and plan for a potential opening. I wasn't at my best and i was running low on fuel.

However as always when faced with a challenge I was defiant and rose to several occasions, decisions with all the positivity I could mus…