Thursday, 20 January 2011

out of reach

I'm driving,
without a destination,
just driving
feigning I have control of something,
within my hands,
my grasp

it's raining,
or is it?
through the misty, wet, windscreen
of my eyes,
I leave the country road
and stall along the grassy verge

baggage in the trunk
weighing heavy,
intent on pulling me down

I reach for the door handle,
hold on tight to its cold shiny hardness,
till the moment passes
and step beyond the car

a lane
more like a clearing
to my right
is clear of its green summer trellis,
undressed branches wave me through

the smell of winter leaving,
a whiff of spring essence fills me,
l choke on deep mouthful's and I swallow,
savouring its sweetness,

uphill I climb through the bracken,
past a barren, stagnant stream,
fed only from recent thawed pathways,

and at the top
I can see out over fields
and potential summer meadows

in the distance
seemingly out of reach,
a disused railway bridge,
solitary, waiting, brave, resolute,

I meander toward it,
all overgrown, weary,
yet full of living,

I walk along
between its grass filled tracks,
they keep me in line,
suggest a direction,
I walk for the longest time,

I walk head bowed,
scliffing my boots,
amid stones, brush and twigs,
tinder dry

fuel for the fire inside,
beginning to burn itself out,
if I don't feed it,
sustain it,
the smoke that still burns in my lungs,
from the inside out,

I want the flames to lick my throat,
smell the smoke in my hair, on my skin,
still intoxicating,
how long will the embers glow

I turn slowly, reluctantly
retrace my steps


  1. I have driven and walked in just this way. You have nailed it. It haunts me to know I am not alone.

  2. Gosh, Saz! It has been a long long trail. Surely something good is round the next bend.


  3. Your words are so powerful ... I agree with Moannie, surely something wonderful is coming your way! xo

  4. Beautiful and powerful words ...

  5. You really are a brilliant writer - so few words but so much said.

  6. I wasn't sure whether to cry to just sigh deeply as the realization washed over me that I am not the only one who has moments of duress before grabbing sanity back with both hands. Very moving and electric...

  7. Hold on to the good bits, they will return


Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x