I am at this moment wearing a pair of underpants the size of Wales, a bra that Jordan wouldn't sneer at and a pair of cute black ankle sox with peacock feathers..are you getting the picture? Not great I know and l don't give a flying fig.
I have just left our local M&S and walked a short way down the road to home. And l just started to smile, then snigger and then l laughed out loud!
Having just visited their 'further reduction sale' I now have a bag full of silky sexy bra's, petticoats, camisoles and french knickers. Leopard print, coffee coloured silk, black lace and red satin all in a smaller cup and chest than l've worn in two years. 'Cos l'm worth it and...
I'm obviously not dead yet!