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I am in bed with...

Jeremy Vine. Yes l am!

He is on the radio beside me, a pile of magazines and knitting on the other side.
Phone and laptop on the tray over my legs.

After a night of coughing and pacing on the carpet tiles,
I managed to fall asleep, when one nostril allowed some air through,
and I slept into the heart of late morning.

I have a chesty cold. Not the flu.  I've had both and I  know the difference. I was sent home from work yesterday to take care of myself. I am under the duvet.

I shall shortly get up and shower ...but then l think why?
Why should l? Do l need to? Nothing really needs doing, cleaning, tidying.

I find lately l am thinking more about myself. My well being. It hasn't really ever been at the forefront of mind. Big mistake.
It seems l no longer concern myself with the storm of guilt. It's just not heading my way any more. I have been freed.
Then I think, should make the effort. There are expectations of me, wife, mother, work colleague. I forget momentarily. Old habits. But no, there isn't any expectation, if there ever was. That has been in my head, riding my thoughts. Whether by my own expectations of what should be, would be, could be ... or by the looks, sighs and pointed words, it concerned me.
Played with my head.

I am done with all that.

Staying in bed for one day will not affect the well being of my son. He is visiting his father this evening, he will be fed (kind of) and he may have to get the bus if l don't take him. No big deal.

My friends, parents, children and others have all helped me regain lost confidence. Letting me be. Letting me moan and groan. Talk and talk and talk.
I have found a deeper, inner strength
I am becoming myself again

I can choose to stay in bed.... so sod it l will stay in bed a bit longer, and l feel so much better for it already.
Today I not only breathe  clearer. I CAN breathe!

...and if you need cheering up cos you are in bed about this for a bit of perspective....


  1. That is clip is amazing! I have never seen that before!

    Hope you feel better soon.

  2. Oh poor Saz, head colds are just horrific .. I hope your nose lets in some air soon ... xo

  3. Love the last bit. If he's like me, he wants to watch "Charlie & Lola"!

  4. great clip! poor bunny indeed! You really should go and get a neti pot immediately. They are amazing. You will be breathing in no time...Really!!!!

  5. I've recently rediscovered your blog after quite a big gap (don't know how you slipped through my bloggy radar, must have been moving back to Australia from the US, but I'm so pleased to have you back!)
    I spent quite a while going back through your posts to see what you've been up to, and was stunned to discover your new single status.
    It's really quite something seeing how well you are doing - just had to tell you. It gives me strength in a strange kind of way. My marriage is rock solid, which makes the prospect of Life Alone seem all the more daunting and scary. Which is a big admission for a woman who works hard, feels very confident and independent, and feels she has made a go of being wife and mother. For me, being single is the Great Unknown, and I so admire you for just getting on with it. There will have been awful, dark times, for sure, but I can sense your growing comfort and restored sense of self. I'm rambling here!
    Anyway, hope you feel better soon, and much affection from me over here.

  6. Good to hear your positive outlook, Saz. I hope you're soon feeling as well physically.

    Poor little bunny indeed! :)

  7. I always get a kick out of that video clip. Enjoy your "you" time and hope you're feeling better soon.

  8. awwww bless you poor bunny - once you are competely better take another duvet day - they are good for you xxx

  9. Feel, relax, just day's good for the soul.

  10. Saz, I've made you some soup and am spiriting across the pond. Stay in bed poor darling and feel better soon. Love the clip and am sending it around. So true, sadly. Be well!

  11. ~Stay right where you are for at least a couple of days - everything else can wait - speedy recovery. x

  12. So sorry to hear you've not been feeling well with a cold and I hope you will soon be heaps better. Congratulations on your new inner strength and your new found freedom. Go girl!
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

  13. i have no idea who jeremy vine is, but i hope u feel better soon! i love that man flu clip - so true and sofunny!

  14. I've seen that clip before but it was worth another look and laugh! Poor you! Nothing worse than feeling like you can't breathe! And no one to bring YOU soup! Take it easy and don't go back to work until you feel 100% better. Sending hugs!

  15. Take care. At Al-anon there is a slogan "let it begin with me". If you don't put yourself first, you cannot cope with all the ups and downs you are going through. Get well soon. Loved the video btw.

  16. Got to go back and see that clip... and just love this post... glad you are finding where YOU are in all of this. Always a good thing. xxx Get better NOT SOON! If you see what I mean...x

  17. LOVED the clip!! Oh, dear, both Husband and I have had a good giggle. Marvellous. xxxx

  18. Damn! When you said you were in bed with ... I was hoping it was Brad Pitt or at least Jeremy Clarkson!!
    But book, duvet, and hot tea are very nice substitutes. Get well soon, Saz. We all miss your posts when you aren't well, so take care of yourself.

    Hugs, Canadian Chickadee

  19. Damn! When you said you were in bed with ... I was hoping it was Brad Pitt or at least Jeremy Clarkson!!
    But book, duvet, and hot tea are very nice substitutes. Get well soon, Saz. We all miss your posts when you aren't well, so take care of yourself.

    Hugs, Canadian Chickadee

  20. Get well soon Sazzy - you deserve to lie down and deep under that duvet and just think of number one for a change.

  21. I hope you're feeling better, Saz.

    I agree on much of this, no one is grading you, and your son will indeed by fine. It would probably behoove him to learn how to get his own backside parked firmly in a bus seat, sans parental direction.

    But there is a point to showering when you have a cold that goes beyond the expectations of anyone who is not you: It alleviates cold symptoms (steam) and raising your body temperature is supposed to help fight off the cold virus :-)


    Feel better soon.

  22. You go, girl!!!!! Take care of YOU!!!! So proud of you!!!! Love you so much!!! Janine XO

  23. Sorry about the nasty cold but thrilled to hear you are feeling like yourself again. That's HUGE!
    Cheers, jj

  24. glad to hear you decided to take care of saz. i hope by now you're feeling much better.

  25. Taking a break I often find is the best way to get better


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Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x

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