Sunday, 21 March 2010

and so...

l am at a loss to produce a post. I know its not the usual post block. I just cannot come up with anything. I don't feel any agnst about this, in fact l feel positively calm and non-plussed about it. Just wonder where the thoughts have wandered off to...

I have one more box to unpack. One more trip to the tip. Several things need bought, but will have to wait. This evening was the first evening I sat and did nothing. Well l say nothing, l did unpack some glasses, sort through a couple of washes of laundry. Watched some tv. Enjoyed a quiet gin or three by myself while my son was out at the theatre.

Last night l went out with a pal to a jazz club, but the place was empty and no jazz pianist was to be seen, but a diddly diddly banjo player and organist were playing lilting annoying tunes, so with a visit to 6 local pubs the evening ended just before l turned into a pumpkin. They were all a bit spit, sawdust and dodgey you know the type and do mean the pubs not the people, though they were mostly all full of prepubescent young people and men old enough to be grandfathers. Just not my thing. I shall stick to known restaurants, wine bars and cinemas. I also took note of the bars my daughter frequent,s from her facebook photos and although she is usually going out at a time l am returning home, l wouldn't wish to chance a clash.

The flat (though it is anything but that with its four sets of stairs) is almost sorted to my liking and more importantly to my son's. (I think my daughter quite likes it also) The fire engineers are just about done with the floorboards and the channeling of wires into walls, now just waiting for switch-on day. Our phone line should be ready on Wednesday which means proper broadband again shortly after. Hurrah!

I am keeping busy and distracted and therefore a state of acceptance and normality has washed over me. Am not yet ready for anything but l am ready and that's a start.

27 comments:

  1. Your blogging inspiration will return I am sure. Hope you are settling in well, Saz, and it will take a bit of time to find your new norm. You've made me want a beer but I shall have to wait until tomorrow - too late.

    Feeling 'hip' at the moment LOL and walking a lot, sometimes with only 1 stick, sometimes no sticks. See the consultant next week (week 5).

    Speak soon ~ Eddie

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  2. A new beginning, new digs, new neighborhood, new ties. You're ready for whatever comes your way...

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  3. Glad you're settling in, Saz! Just as you're sorting out life alone (sort of) I'm having to go to counseling with "you-know-who" as there are several issues that keep cropping up. Do men ever mature???

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  4. Sounds like a cute place. You'll have it be "homey" in no time.

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  5. i know i keep saying it will get easier, but it will. hugs.

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  6. I don't know what to say other than I know how you feel/what you are going through and it is so hard. It's positive that you are already getting out but even that is hard. You have got your flat sorted so quickly, I hope it feels good to you.
    xxx

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  7. You and me both, hun, for different reasons. Keeping busy is the best way to stop the thoughts churning. Let us hope we don't run out of chores to keep us busy.

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  8. We all go through blogging stagnation from time to time. I generally just write about that as you just did.
    It helps us all to feel we are not alone when it happens to us.
    Is that your doormat? Love it. Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  9. I found that 'doing' kept me going when my hubby left.....and lots of M&S vino! 8 years later I look at my, now ex-hub, and marvel that I even dated him, never mind married or had two kids with him!! Keep strong. He is the one who left and carries that regret with him - he knows he tore our family asunder and would turn back the clock if he could. Sending lots of hugs ,Mae XX

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  10. You sound very positive, which is great. Being ready is all we can hope for. Normality, in this instance, is good.

    Thinking of you

    Hugs

    Sx

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  11. You sound very positive, which is great. Being ready is all we can hope for. Normality, in this instance, is good.

    Thinking of you

    Hugs

    Sx

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  12. I'm sure your blogging "block" will disappear shortly. Sounds like you have some wonderful friends surrounding you...

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  13. As far as I can read - I can't see a blogging block at all!!

    You are sprouting new wings. They are small as of yet but as they grow you will learn to fly. And then - watch out!

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  14. Wow, a new start. That should take your breath away! (I LOVE LOVE LOVE the title of your post! Just like me!) I also love your rug...great words to live by!
    Lindsey Petersen

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  15. And that's a wonderful start, dearest Saz...You do NOT need to be ready for "anything..." Just ready for the next step! And that, you are!!! What a journey it has been...and so much possibility before you...you are in a resting place right now, but soon you are going to ROCK the world!!!! Love you! Janine XO

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  16. Saz,

    I think we all have our moments of blanks when it comes to blogging. I haven't had thoughts in a while, almost a month or so now.

    You have made a HUGE transition. Perhaps, mentally, emotionally & spiritually you are preparing for a new way of life. Maybe you are scanning the horizon in search of a direction in which to begin this new way of life.

    You sound peaceful and relaxed. Sounds like you had a cozy night in, just piddling around the house. That is a good thing. No rush, no hurry, just taking your time.

    Enjoy the moment :-)

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  17. Excuse me my friend but that was an excellent post .. isnt blogging supposed to be like this .. expressing one's self? Looking forward to seeing how the not so flat flat is looking...

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  18. It sounds as though you are settling in - though not settling, if you know what I mean. Good for you! Enjoy the odd drink (and maybe the odd company that comes with it) but just relax, be yourself, and let life flow to you. Oh, and keep smiling, too. You have a nice one.

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  19. You know, I don't think you're blocked or blank as much as you are in exploration mode. Gathering the possibilities, examining them, feeling out a new life, keeping an appraising eye on it all.

    Sometimes we write about experiences, and sometimes we are storing up new experiences that we consider. You're getting the lay of your new land.

    Wouldn't it be wonderful if for five minutes we had access to future feelings? If right now you could just upload the happiest feelings from a year from now, when you're settled in, and have worn welcome grooves in your new life.

    You'll get there, but right now, you are just starting to make those grooves, those patterns. Soon they'll feel natural, and good. They will be yours. You won't just be an explorer in your new life, you'll feel confident of being in charge of it.

    If I could give you one feeling to upload and hang onto? It would be that feeling. I feel confident it will come to you, but for right now, I hope you can trust that it will. I'm pulling for you in every way imaginable :-)

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  20. It sounds like a fine start to me. Don't worry about the blogging. Whether it comes to you (as this post did) or not, you'll settle into a comfy zone soon. And with that too, it sounds as if you've already begun doing so.

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  21. Lovely to hear you sounding so positive in your lovely new four storey flat (surely a contradiction in terms?!!!) I admire your strength and your ability to maintain your dignity and humour (in blogland at least). Good on you girl. Life is good, remember, and soon the sun will be shining.

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  22. Good luck with your new life.

    Give my regards to Carlisle, I spent three happy years as a student there in the late seventies.

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  23. Saz, I think you are just taking it all in. Sit back, don't force yourself or pressure yourself to feel or write anything. Thinking of you, Jo x

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  24. for not having anything, it was really good! nice to stop in, Sara ~rick

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  25. I take my days and moods in waves, as they come. My writing has become darker and more fiction. I wonder why :)? You will be okay. One day at a time.

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  26. You seem to be doing very well, considering... There are some things in single life that attract me - being able to decorate how you want things, keeping your own times and sleeping in a double bed all by yourself!! Just not having to wait on another in so many ways is probably blissful! Although I have no intention of travelling this road, I know that "There But for the Grace of God..." and when I allow my thoughts to wander, I think of these advantages and imagine that I would have to capitalize on them to get me over the slump!
    One must look forward and embrace life, whatever the circumstances. Wishing you strength and optimism as you go forward.
    xxxx

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  27. you're settling in and finding your way and not stagnating. all of which sounds quite right given all that's happened.

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Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x