Wednesday, 24 February 2010

Done

..as so many people have asked after me, l felt I owed you guys an explanation, if only a brief one for now.

Last weekend my husband asked for a separation. Our 18 yr old daughter has decided to remain with him in the family home. I am not comfortable talking about it here right now. My blogs are not a secret, so I don't feel able to vent my heart out here. Suffice it to say Larry and I are separating and so are the children geographically, if less than a mile apart. This is excruciatingly painful. I am not happy with this outcome, but there it is. 35 years together is a long time.

I do not know how this will pan out, I will just roll with it. We now have to legally separate and I have to find a suitable home for my son and I. We hope the children will come and go freely between them both.

I am trying to be brave and formidable instead of the weak, weepy and needy mush that lay inside me. My hope is that the children come through this whole and that we can steer them through their forthcoming exams with our support and love.

I just have to remember to breathe.


14 comments:

  1. Saz,
    I've just come back off my own 'blog time out' and was so sad to read this. I'm so sorry to hear about the separation and moving yourself and the kids around.
    I know there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better but please know that I'm thinking of you xx

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  2. well don't i feel like a heel... truly sorry about the pain you and your family is going through. will keep you in my prayers.

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  3. So sorry to hear of your heartbreak! Change is so painful. I hope that soon you will be able to see some positive in this change. Until then, I will keep you in my prayers.

    Malisa

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  4. so sorry to hear this. I hope you and your children come through this as well as you can. Thinking of you.

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  5. Saz, I can only add to the previous words of support and add... I understand. I pray your husband's attitude towards your needs and the outcome of the separation happens with maturity, regard for both of your feelings and emphasis on the needs of your children.
    (Mine did a 180° opposite of that. But at least I can wish the best for YOU!)
    Kind and warm regards with cups of tea, warm hugs and quiches from Kitty xx

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  6. Very sad to hear this, and sending you support and hugs X

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  7. My heart goes out to you!
    Kitty has already found such beautiful words,
    I have the same hope for you, that you will be able to separate as friends and loving parents of two wonderful children.
    Warm hugs,
    Merisi

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  8. you know where to find me if you need me, Sara
    Take care~rick

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  9. Sorry to hear that - I hope it gets better for you soon.

    Hmm... take nothing for granted, I'll celebrate 25 years married this summer and just past our 29th together as a couple sometimes I just think it'll go on and on. A friend of mine is going through a divorce after 40 years - it is eating him up.

    Doesn't help you but you sharing this at least helps me take note - thanks

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  10. Take it steady my friend - fairy steps daily until you feel less bruised... and one day you will heal and enjoy having your life back!
    Peace and Love to you from one who was once in your shoes!!!
    Kate
    www.iramble.co.uk

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  11. Saz,

    Sometimes we have to do what we have to do. Separation is a tough move. Again, I've been there.

    Personally, I think it is important to talk to someone about your feelings. 35 years is an extremely long time to result in a separation. Talking to someone will help you to keep your thoughts and emotions focused.

    Yes, it is tremendously painful. No one wants their family to split apart. Allowing your emotions to express is a physiological release for the body under such stress. Crying is perfectly healthy under these circumstances...and whatever else works for you.

    It will take time, but you will heal. I know you can't see or feel that now. You will go through soooo many emotions. Your body has to purge and adjust as you sort things out.

    You are right...remember to breathe. Take lots of breaks to stay focused. You have so many wonderful places to go to where you live.

    Much love

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  12. So so sorry, wishing you all the best for a positive future, even if you can't see it now (((hugs)))

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  13. Saz - I've been so lost in my own world that I've missed what's going on in yours. I'm so sorry that things turned out this way and that I haven't been here to be a shoulder for you to lean on. It isn't easy to start over, but in some ways, you're not. You're simply continuing your walk without a familiar partner by your side. If you're lucky, you'll end up like me and my ex - friends. It's better for you and for the kids for it to end up that way.

    Big hugs to you, my friend. I'm here if you need me.

    Peace - D

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  14. Saz...I've been gone for a while...but my heart and prayers are with you. We women are a strong lot...and I put you WAY at the top of the heap. I am so sorry you are going through this. This is one of those times when I wish I could have reached through this damn computer screen, and give you a proper, sincere hug. xoxoxoxoxoxoxox You are added to my prayer list. Right at the top~

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Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x