Tuesday, 29 December 2009

Loneliness...


is next to god awfulness.

l enjoyed my London trip on so many levels. Though particularly because I had time to suit myself, time away from pressure of work, time away from the kids, all types of timetables. Time away from decision making, which I abhor with a passion!

Sometimes, though thankfully not often when l am alone. Sitting in a coffee shop. Or in line in the bank or supermarket. Waiting in the car in line for the car park. Usually alone waiting. I get the heebee jeebee's. In plain speak a panic or anxiety attack. It comes in the form of a butterfly fluttering in my chest, a screaming in my head. Silent screaming. But I feel the noise. White noise. That drives darkness through the day like a knife through butter. It lasts but a few moments, but a dry fear stays a while. Remaining hidden amongst the layers of feelings and experiences we call life.

Whilst walking alone through the streets of London, it lurked. Unacknowledged. Invisible. Whilst feeling the beat of the city's heart. I walked. Talked less. Even to myself. Thought. Wondered. Wandered and became myself again. The me that is my core. The child. The woman. Mother and wife by happenstance or a mild determination. Fate. Perhaps the person I will be in my last heart beat. My last breath. She walked beside me in the darkness. She stirred and I quietly remembered.

Later I was gently gripped by the hand. And suddenly disconcerted by my surroundings. The naked room in which l slept. Two nights. A rectangular room. High ceilings. Magnolia walls. A single bed. Crisp white sheets. One blanket. One bedside table. Light overhead flush in the ceiling. One small dining table. One dining chair. One wardrobe. Dark wood. One occasional chair. One sink mirror. Clean. Crisp. Basic. Raw. Functional. Somewhere to put my toothbrush. Lay my head.

The nakedness of the room. Cell like. Was sad and lonely. Pungent with fear. Evoking memories of a time of solitary living. For me a great hollow. A nothingness. That nothingness slowly crept its way up into me. Foreboding soaked its way through my skin. Leaving a damp patch of lonely. A bruise from days gone by. A gentle reminder of how it felt. Isolated by circumstances. Utterly alone. Christmas and New Year came and went. Unprepared I chipped away at the ice box for remnants. Sleeping to escape the clock. Cocooned in lonesomeness.

Nowadays I can yearn for alone time. Very different from lonely time.

Monday, 28 December 2009

Miscellaneous Mondays #2


here is my offering for another image with no home....yet.
Pavement art, Manchester.


Happy Birthday to my daughter!


She'll probably be mortified, but it is her big day and I wish her a happy day.


'believe in yourself and magic will happen..'

love always

Mum

9 million bicycles

Saturday, 26 December 2009

Something to keep you going...

a few days more ... until we start all over again for New Years Eve.... lets make dates with our girlfriends in our diaries NOW! Something to look forward to...


for this month....


OMGosh we gotta see this one!!! Gerry Butler, DING DONG!!!


and.....



and....


and...




and in the summer.....

Thursday, 24 December 2009

A Sprinkle of Magic

soft candlelight
the crunch of giftwrap
childrens' laughter
sparkling eyes
flushed cheeks
stockings on the bedpost
glittering tree baubles
jingling bells
a partridge in a pear tree
the crunch of footsteps on snow
twinkling tree lights
hot mince pies
squeals of delight
the scent of spices
the laughter of loved ones
a sprinkling of love

HAPPY CHRISTMAS
TO ALL MY FRIENDS
xoxox
Sara x

Monday, 21 December 2009

Miscellaneous Mondays #1

DarylE has wondered up this great theme for Mondays (monochrome or not) for all those photos we've taken and they don't seem to fit into any obvious category. Thus, here commences a 'mish mash' of the miscellaneous!


'Leaning on a lamp-post.....'
Midnight Regent Street, London

Friday, 18 December 2009

Fabulous Frocks!


...Fab Frocks
from the V & A costume rooms...
(click to enlarge )

bodice detail from a Celia Birtwell designed fabric & dress late 1960's

1920's beaded column gown, Jean Patou

Zandra Rhodes early 1970's

A classic Chanel three piece worn by Gabrielle herself

Catherine Walker dress & jacket designed for Diana, HRH Princess of Wales
for the Royal Tour, Hong Kong

looks like something Morticia would wear!

fabulous glass beaded back detail


floral Dior dress garnished with beads


and a jewel in the crown
a Vivienne Westwood gown I would love to own!




... and here is a soupcon of fashions of the future
new designs from young designers, students of fashion







Thursday, 10 December 2009

ME time...


...does not necessarily equate to quiet time, at all! I'm home and l'm so tired. I've walked and l've walked! The train trip down from Carlisle to London was uneventful, thus newspaper, magazine, book, ipod... but on a Pendolino it was fast, blink and you'd miss the countryside whizzing by...

After checking into my hotel I wondered around Covent Garden

browsed the fancy food shops

then went to The National Portrait Gallery to view

and went to The Haymarket Theatre and watched Breakfast at Tiffanys

I then walked all the way from Picadilly via Regent & Oxford streets

to my hotel at Lancaster gate. at midnight. Phew!

Day two - the morning was spent finding then ratching around in the Persephoone bookshop. Bliss! I chose three books to wrap and put under the tree for ME!



Then I went to The Victoria & Albert Museum


where I spent hours in the Costume Rooms
this is a Vivienne Westwood, I wish!!
(more fab dresses in another post)

then viewed the marvellous Maharajah Exhibition

and then in the evening I went to the Royal Albert Hall, a first for me, to see


'A Not so silent Christmas'
featuring Rufus & Martha Wainwright
Kate & Anna McGarrigle
Boy George, Guy Garvey, Ed Hagerty,
& Dawn French & Jennifer Saunders-retired-


believe it or not this is Boy George & Rufus singing Blue Christmas!
A real fun night.

Windows into Christmas

PhotoStory Friday

(double click to enlarge most of the images)

London's Oxford Street windows at nearly midnight,
based on the Pantomine fairy tales and...








(that says tock btw, l know what it looks like...!)

OMGish fab Vivienne Westwood windows (strictly panto of course)



and a christmas kitsch bling Louis Vuitton

... santa baby, put one under the tree,
for me...



Visit MamaGeek and Cecily, creators of Photo Story Friday.

Monday, 7 December 2009

Flying solo....


I'm off on a three day trip to London. Alone. Solo. Free from house, home, kids, timetables and clock watching. This has been planned since August and l'll tell you all about it when I return. See you all soon!