Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Its my turn to hold the remote...

which is my way of saying, the day is mine, all mine!

Following on from my quiet start Sunday, yesterday must have been Manic Monday. After the kids went off to school, no mean feat I'm sure you know. I may not have to wash and dress them anymore, but finding change for school lunch and it hardly warrants the title, is an arduous task in itself, I admit to looking in Larry's suit pockets and in between cushions and the crease of the washing machine seal!

I then purposefully, but probably furtively, went to the hardware store to replenish some articles in the 'old' kitchen and returned to the scene of the crime - for that was how it felt yesterday pre-inventory check. After disposing of the tumble dryer at  the tip, sweeping up the previous nights windfall and reassuring myself in vain that the house looked at it was when we moved in 18 months ago, the agent drove up early. One and a half hours later the deed was done, to everyones satisfaction - least of all Larry with the pending cash return. Keys were exchanged and the underneath line could be drawn.

The utter relief was palpable, you felt it too I'm sure.

Last night was spent in a less harangued fashion to that of late. I think Larry and I actually sat down and not just to eat. Which brings me to the now. Kids gone, Larry has departed for work beyond Cumbria's borders and will return to refill his boots on Friday. Dog fed, not yet walked.

I am in the foreground again of the whine of the washer, I've set up my ipod with speakers in the kitchen so my choice of early morning harmony this morning is 'Taking it to the Streets' from The Best of The Doobie Bros  (with the wonderful and perfect blue eyed Michael McD who is also Fab live!)  A strange choice for this time of day perhaps, but I'm not going to curl up just yet on the couch and catch up with 2 epi's of ER and of Brothers & Sisters, just yet. I shall first catch up with my pals online and then I'll Take it to the streets for an hour or two, then come home and decide whether to chill or do more stuff around here, you know I may just chill as its back to work tomorrow and juggling it all.

So I'm to take advantage of the day until 4.30pm, when Watch with Mother is only a dream of what was and the kids return home to raid the fridge (which I should fill).


Sunday, 29 March 2009

Quiet time

I'm sitting in the ktichen,  on the table newspapers surround me like train sleepers, buffering and comforting me against another long day of cleaning and rearranging in the old homestead. 

But for now, I'm wallowing in the moment that is the tick of the new kitchen clock and the whine of the still busy washing machine, working more relentlessly than I at this time.

Larry has gone a Sunday visiting his Mum; our son is sleeping over again,  at his mate's home, (does every teenager think the grass is greener), Pippa is sleeping soundlessy upon my right foot; darling daughter is sleeping, probably shoring up energy for some petulant sneering when I attempt to waken her in an hour or so. I'll leave it to the last moment, no masochist I!

It is 9 am, no I must correct this, it is 10am british summer-  guffaw- time! I have eaten two pieces of toast, butter and raspberry jam with a cup of tea, I am contemplating having the same again, but my good side is arguing with my bad side. The ST Culture has been devoured as has the Magazine, I will leave the hard stuff until tonight or maybe Wednesday -  just before I chuck them out for recycling, then flick through for those crucial speakeasy columns that shout out to me, read me, read me or my short print life has been in vain.
If the conservatory 0r in FFF speak, the  sun lounge (circa 1971 speak obviously) was organised I could be sitting in the warm dappled sunlight, in my imagined wing chair and with a good book, the likes of which hasn't been firmly in hand for the last 4 weeks. A joy which will  no doubt return, when I have exhausted the 357 to do lists rattling around in my mind and handbag, kitchen surfaces and bedside table. Oh! to declutter this mind.

I could remonstrate with the idea of losing an hour overnight and so less time to do things ... remember the few years back in 70's land when the powers that be trialed no time changes and we arrived at school in darkness, loved it! But I am feeling that in sitting apart from the usual fervent and furtive rants , trouble shooting and organised chaos, I am ready to draw a line and say Enfin, enough! 

I am breathing in this quiet time, this adonis of bare, naked moments, pushing away all thoughts of industrious endeavours and effortlessly taking the pleasurable time to breathe deep of the lazy Sunday morning and check in and say Bonjour, Good day and hello, to share with my friends and mentors, copains and heroes.

My glass is half full and I am enjoying the moment.


Post of the day 
Thank you David. 
Awarded by David 'authorblog' McMahon. 
We aspire to be recognised like bees around a honeypot! 
Go visit, be inspired!

Friday, 27 March 2009

Normal service...

will be resumed shortly

Between trying to achieve some semblance
of order in the new home; getting the old house
clean and presentable;
whilst working nine days straight
Ater today I am off for four days
and so hope I may be able to magic up a post of some description
rather than this waffle!
(am a tad worried about the amount of posts I've missed!)

Monday, 23 March 2009

Hope springs...

There has been much expounding of the virtues of spring 
on the human psyche  (you see I have been lurking a little).
I have been mulling over spring for three weeks now 
and I have been too encumbered 
by the domestic travails of moving house and home, 
as you know - you would have had to be
 living in outer Mongolia to miss this titbit.

However all I want to say on Spring is encompassed in these few words ...

Hope springs eternal in the human breast;
Man never Is, but always To be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confin'd from home,
Rests and expatiates in a life to come.

-Alexander Pope,
An Essay on Man, Epistle I, 1733

Saturday, 21 March 2009

Mum's the word

Happy Mothers Day
Mum and me
(and for those of you who haven't twigged)
Moannie & FFF

Friday, 20 March 2009


or in the words of Moannie - exoisted! oh do go see!

We are kinda sorted.
Just the old house to clean
the new to live in
and make our own.
The sun is shining
all bodes well.

Give me a duvet week and l'll be in fine fettle!

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

My dance of the seven veils...

I haven't stopped today!

I started the day talking things through with the estate agent regarding collection of keys on Saturday morning.

Then I went and bought three beds, a king size, a double and a single, all half price in the sale, £1000 all but £1 and 1penny!

I cannot wait to get into that bed it was sublime lying on it at 10.30am in all my layers, no player me.

Then I passed one of my bargain haunts, missed a waxed pine dining kit by a milli second, but scooped up 2 x 3 seater cottage sofa in a deep wine colour, enough wear in them for a few months until we decide on a new pairing.

At another favourite haunt I scooped a pine circular table and four chairs and a brand spanking looking side board thingy from ikea with seven drawers (I have its matching shelving unit) which will look good somewhere!

(This is a pic of new house- not good angle) I visited the new house twice, where the decorator was going great guns, I found it so satisfying standing watching, much longer than I should've to take in someone else hard at it! I measured the rooms and cupboards, utility area for appliances, I didn't manage to find time to buy today. I know for sure there are many out there in the shops and so I won't go without. My daughter was practically in tears, the soon to be her floor carpet was no longer black, someone had obviously gone in over the last week and changed it just to piss her (and so me) off. The purple walls are now , ' too girly, it's all pants. My room is crap!' Is it really oh dear.

My son and daughter then dragged me into a Mountain something specialist shop, to buy walking gear for my son. I was told to shut up twice by both son and daughter, as I was 'embarrassing' them!!


I can only assume they noticed I was breathing out fire through my nostrils and must have been dancing the dance of the seven veils on the cash counter, which is code for asking the guy for help, a thing they wouldn't do as it's so not cool! I guess carrying the debit card to buy these items is acceptable though.

I then rewarded their petulance and rudeness by getting them a McDonalds, I was too tired to cook. Back to work tomorrow, so much to do.

Monday, 9 March 2009

Green to go!

We've had the green light! So we pick up the keys to the new house on Saturday. That gives me tomorrow, as l'm working Wednesday through Friday to get organised. Which list to write first! I shan't sleep tonight, so l may make some headway over night.

So what to do first? Buy some beds,  a washing machine and some chairs, tables and a sofa from a clearance place or two!

Then we have four days over the weekend to get the most of our things over to our new abode a mile away. Larry and I will have a van for Monday and move the larger pieces. We won't have beds until Wednesday at the earliest, so we may sleep on the floor at the new place or in beds at the current place, which we will have for another month yet. But once the bulk of our own belongings are moved, l'll be loathe to leave the house unattended.

My stomach has been crunching all week and we only viewed this house exactly two weeks ago, I can't imagine how l would be if we had to wait the usual 3-4 months! We are lucky we are in a position to keep two properties overlapping for  a time, condusive to an ease of transit.

So I may be unavoidably be distracted from blogging for a while over the next week or so. Although I shall be lurking some, because this saddo has a broadband dongle and l can access internet and you all 'anywhere, anytime',  who aid that?  Batman ? or was it superman? Perhaps  Thunderbirds are more appropriate.

FFF and family are GO!

Sunday, 8 March 2009

The Kindness of 'Strangers'

Kindness is the
golden chain by which society is bound together.


I've just used up two brand new ink cartridges. They only printed 43 pages of blog in black and 14 in colour and they are both now empty. I am not impressed. £18. It's worth it, but not good value, I will look into sourcing cheaper cartridges from somewhere.

As I've mentioned before I print out each post I make and keep them in a file, a keepsake, a 21st century journal of my adventures in blogland. It represents my personal journey, one of self discovery and understanding. I've heard it called virtual therapy. I get that.
Stimulated by the lives and thought provoking prose and images of other bloggers. These others are the strangers we meet online, who become friends, confidants, supporters and teachers.

Unlike keeping a diary or journal in the traditional way, a weblog - blog can become a fiercely defended and protected responsibility. These mentors which are the sisters and brothers of whom I now read and listen and learn from, on so many different levels!

I am lucky in that I have a small circle of personal friends - I have talked about in my post
' My cup runneth over' but due to the geographical and demographical differences, we are not always in sync, not always 'available' to each other when we are 'in need' to rant, to vent, to talk, to laugh or to scream at someone, anyone.

I have blogged on my hobbies for some years, but during this last year opening my world up to a personal adventure which has been interestingly wonderful and has been creatively surprising. I have received a level of friendship and fulfillment that I could never have guessed I would find.

Printing out the posts I make is not for vanity - though there must be an element of this in there somewhere I admit, but the dominating factor is to keep it as a mark of a period of remarkable friendship and generosity as I pass through this wonderful time which is to me a kind of watershed. It also may be of interest and perhaps even help some in understanding for my daughter and even son, to be able to reflect upon their Mum and have some insight into the world from my perspective. One they quite rightly have little understanding of right now. If it doesn't, no matter. It's the journey I feel, that matters.

Friday, 6 March 2009

Great Quotes! #4

Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did,
 but she did it backwards and in high heels.
Faith Whittlesey

Like the man said...

I'm not sure if it's my state of mind or the generosity of strangers or if it is just the potency of the power in the words that has so often left me in a state of awe. Sometimes I hesitate in writing my comments on posts because of the writing and the prose and the deep inner thoughts shared are often so overwhelming and poignant. Leaving me agog at the standard of writing and at the generosity of people sharing their lives, their innermost thoughts and experiences.

Their mellifluous words wrap around me like a silk cloth. They make me THINK and I often leave their blogs so much calmer. I believe this is because they speak words which seem to be wrapped into my skin and they resonate within me. There are such talented writers who write such beautiful prose.

I feel the sheer authentic strength of their photographic images that I left am in wonder.

This is a place where the seduction of great writers - both in words and pictures helps to encourage and inspire me.

It's a bit like Jack Nicholson's great line from the film As Good as it gets,

only my line is ... 'You make me want to be a better writer!'

I always leave feeling that I CAN!!

Thursday, 5 March 2009

Moving house, keeping home

I have hesitated posting about our impending house move -yes again! Because I didn't want to jinx it. I mentioned this possibility in my Words post a few days ago and we are still on tenterhooks waiting for confirmation on the deal we agreed, so we can sign on the dotted. I find the anticipation in this instance frazzle inducing frustratingly unnerving. I daren't start boxing anything until we hear for sure.

Larry and I have been saying how cramped this house is for us, especially as our son has grown 6 inches this year and his box bedroom is too small, we feel bad for him. Not one of us has a place we can call our own. My greenhouse den didn't work out for me in the end, I damaged several of my water colour paintings with the dripping condensation. The house is just too small for four, nearly all adults in size if not in attitude. Larry comes home on weekends and he cannot spread out, cannot make his kits, he cannot play the hi-fi, we are encroaching in on one another. Not having any place for your own personal space is not great for family relations.

So we started looking at what was available in the papers and on the net, bearing in mind properties are getting cheaper due the current global financial crisis so we thought this may work in our favour. We should
be able to find something substantially bigger for the same or less than we are currently paying. We quickly found another property, in fact the first one we looked at, which is larger and boasts three more rooms, two more bathrooms.

The down side is that we gave most of our furniture away when we downsized so we are having to start over. Good fun but expensive. Indeed this part I adore as I can turn on the radar and hone my sourcing skills, which if I say so myself are pretty darn good! I know lots of auction houses, clearance warehouses and if push comes to shove we will buy new, but I want to hold out on that until we know the house and get a feel for what we need. Another upside is the deep pleasure of a new bed! We are all having brand new beds and on these I will not scrimp. My parents gave Larry and I a bedroom suite and sumptuous bed for a wedding present and these were all scrapped when we left the farmhouse 18 months ago. I experienced great joy in finding a replacement, a luxury memory bed, need l explain further. Deep deep joy!

If all goes through without a hitch we have arranged to pick up the keys on 14th March and will have both properties for a couple of weeks, to enable a slow transition over to the new property. The kids and I plan to surprise Larry with much of the big stuff all done when he gets home the weekend after.

I have always wanted to make a home and live long in it, but for many reasons it has never worked out that way. We thought we would be here for a few years until school is done, but it was not to be. I am looking at all the positives, with a new garden to watch and see which delights grow and surprise me week after week, I love this part of a new house and garden.

I have always believed that a house is not necessarily a home. It is the life and the soul, the people and the love which make it a home. I will ensure we bring this into our new house and spread it around. The 'stuff' you carry carry from house to house and which you bring with you are just functional and superficial .

This thought keeps me sane and fills me with warmth, that moving house needn't be a negative experience.

It is an opportunity for all of us to grow, relax and express our individuality and wrap ourselves within the warmth of a deeper sense of family.

Thank you to David-authorblog for winning a Post of the Day award!

Wednesday, 4 March 2009

My first album and my Needs!!

 Fhina gets some very random and interesting memes, here are two ...
My band name is  Foissy-sur-Vanne which I think is fabulous.  
My first album is called - It's your count that votes which is  a bit boring but democratic! it comes from the quote,  In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.  Mogens Jallberg
and the result  is pretty evocative l thought!
To have a go yourself follow these  instructions. 1 - BAND NAME: Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random article” l:Random. The first random wiki article you get is the name of your band. 2 - ALBUM TITLE: Go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album. 3 - COVER ART: go to third image on this link http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. 4 - Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together. 5 - Post it to FB with this text in the "caption" and TAG the friends you want to join in. (Be sure to tag me, so I can see your creation) Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
and the second one is  -  put into google or the search engine of preference,
'FFF (your name) needs' and add the search results for our delectation...

FFF needs  a loving, playful home.  (I do I do!)
FFF needs  your opinion on parents sleeping in your bed. (or indeed you in theirs, well it is a well documented fact that I've done it and love it, depending on your ages of course! I'm talking babies and poorly children, nothing better to soothe and calm!)
FFF needs  a meme. (I don't I really don't)
FFF needs  replies (or a comment or two would be welcome)
FFF needs  YOU! ( I do!)
FFF needs to drop a few lbs. (bloody cheek, I know it, I'm FFF, but thats very rude actually!)
FFF needs  to be a companion horse ( No comment!)
FFF needs  to tame her aggresive tone and go back to alaska ( F*!*S?)
FFF needs  to STOP! (okay okay!)

Do you Skype?

I've had a web cam for about a year and I have tried it out and spoken to my kids through the video thingy - er in their rooms 5 yards away! I also managed to chat with my Mum for a few days after I installed one for her and we enjoyed conversing this way for a few days before her computer Paco went on strike and the software  got deleted. 

So along with other gumphf in the home, this web cam has sat in the drawer with other defunct mobile phone chargers, spent batteries and an assortment of small pieces of junk, unused. A drawer that may interest some of my man friend bloggers are you heraing this BS5?

Yesterday that all changed when I was chatting on the phone to my friend Debs who lives in my home town in Kent. She was telling me how she regularly chats to her brother in Australia  for free on skype. 

I rummaged in my man drawer,  found and installed the web cam, downloaded and set up Skype, sent a text to Debs.  Et voila! we could see our ugly mugs, compare the large sizes our breasts suddenly looked on camera  and we chatted. We did so whilst we both prepared dinner, it was a treat not to be alone in the kitchen. Great fun! And I thought these web cams were used for naughty reasons.

Has anyone else discovered this great online tool? (it's free to talk and web cam on the net btw!)

Tuesday, 3 March 2009


I have had a couple of manic weeks, in both my head and the real? world! I have started a couple of posts but they didn't come together and gel into anything except manic meandering and dismal drivel.
I popped by Sass's blog, One lustful mum, er no that isnt right, Sass is of course One strangely lush mother, sorry Sass, it just drips of my tongue, I have no filter today!  I've  caught up with her last few posts and borrowed and tweaked her most recent because it enables me to sum up the past couple of weeks a little more cohesively. I hope you agree, well you would if I let you see my saved drafts. I must delete them!
So to sum up for you.
I feel...

Frazzled- waiting to know if our house move is going through. Yes again! We are cramped and encroaching into each others personal space in this house. Though lovely, it is small for us 4 big people. This garden has more room and if it were warmer l'd be out there, but it isn't and so I'm not!

Moved...as posted by Sass I too am moved by the sad news of Ivan Cameron. The press appear to have given the family the space  they need at this awful time. As India Knight wrote in TST give  a thought to Ivan's siblings. Ivan has probably been the shadow and the light in their lives  until now and  I'm sure Samantha and David will help them adjust.

Shocked - to learn I have sustained high bp.That it is higher than Larry's, who has been on meds for 20 years and now I  am on a higher dose than he is! The doc is trying to get it down to a manageable level, so I can try  HRT, because of my 'severe symptoms'. 

Sweaty - my hot fushes/flashes are up to every 20 minutes or so, my cycle all over the show, but I believe they're on the wane. My doctor is happy to let me try Hrt again, as there are so many types now on offer and I am hopeful we will find the right one for me this time around. I keep turning off the heating and everyone says it's cold...not in my word it isn't. And when I have a flush, its all consuming I have to stop mid sentence and fan myself!

Humbled- by the bravery of Jade Goody. Some may say or think she is still after the limelight. Well as she naively entered the Big brother house and I was encouraged by a huge block of the uk public, who watched and voted on that series, me included, she may well be, who can blame her. It has been thebetter part of her troubled life. I don't read the red tops, but on other news it appeared her neighbour was having a go at her as she got into her car! With the  press outside her door how could he not. The git. She is still giving interviews, to be paid and to encourage other woman to have regular smear tests (and l know some who have never had a smear, they are too shy and ignorant to do so). I had dodgy cells caught on a smear test, an erosion too, shortly after I had  a miscarriage. I had treatment immediately. It may have saved my life. 

I wish Jade some pain free moments with her boys and family. I cannot begin to feel her anguish. How does one manage to breath in and out and put one foot in front of the other knowing your time with your children and in this world is so very limited. I could weep for her.