Friday, 31 July 2009

I'm on the bra wagon too...


The theme of the week must be the bra or by any other names, brassieres, flooper stoppers, slings, hammocks, instruments of torture, boobie drawers, Shoulder Boulder Holder or Double-barreled slingshots.

This subject has been discussed at House of Lime's and at Powell Power and a while back at Moannie's, I think I even posted a rant upon the subject here somewhere. I cannot be silent amid all this heaving, moaning and venting.

It must be the hotter weather that makes us realise we are uncomfortable or rather our breasts are. I was never well endowed. Being as skinny as a rake until my late 20's, then after giving up smoking I gained a few healthy looking pounds and so a few ounces fleshed out my pancakes or fried eggs. In my late 30's after five years of being either pregnant or breastfeeding, my now larger breasts hung like a pair of beagles' velvety ears. Empty. Sad. Stretched. Yikes. With the onset of middle age, they have actually filled out somewhat and as long as they are supported they can look pretty good clothed, even if I say so myself.

Part of the trouble is that bras never fit well, if they do not for long. he wire cuts into the arm pits leaving bruises, yes actual bruises. If I dare raise my arms above sea level then my boobs half hang out underneath, sorry a bad image that. l have long been able to hold not just one pencil under my boob, but the whole pencil case.

The torture is more in the finding a bra to fit and then buying several of the style. One that isn't all man made fabric. OH! maybe the problem is that they ARE man made. OMG!! DO you think men design them. And we are the 'butt' of this joke.

With machine washing and fluctuating weight. One needs to get replacements every six months. But we don't. We leave it longer and longer. Putting off the inevitable. Until our bras have no support left in them. The heat hits and we are well stuffed. Well you know what I mean. We have to go back to the store and red faced and squirming we ask for help. It's embarrassing and the assistants know it. I need a bra. I'm down to my last one.

There is an opportunity here, a gap in the humongous bra market for some entrepreneur, come you Dragons, to open a store or give house parties to sort out the bra mess. It is the stuffing of legend. We need a saviour. Service. Smiles. Bras for all.

32 comments:

  1. i am crackin' up.. cause i just went bra shopping yesterday!! what a PAIN! this one does this.. that was does that.. it's endless.. AWGH!! finding one to fit our individual sizes & shapes.. nearly impossible! until they begin making alternate cup sizes w/ alternate band sizes.. i don't think i will ever find the 'perfect' fit. nice to know i'm not alone in my bra misery!!

    have a great weekend!
    -Tracie

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  2. Oh so true. Sadly you dont live here .. here I (we NewYawkers) have The Town Shop .. their sales women can tell you spot on what size you NEED even in dead of winter whilst you are wearing 3 sweaters and an down parka. I swear! Recently I learned that I wear not a 36B but a 34DD (or in one French manufacterers sizing a 34F.. F ... oy!)

    I recommend Wacol and Chantelle if you can get those brands. Comfy and long wearing.

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  3. I'm cracking up here, too! One of the biggest problems is that in order to find a bra that actually fits properly, you need to go to a specialist! Yes, a specialist - like Daryl says, to someone who can tell exactly what you need just by sizing you up (no pun intended here). And then you finally get squished and squeezed into one that fits reasonably well and doesn't look too matronly only to find out its cost! The cost is more astronomical than that F-cup to which Daryl refers! LOL

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  4. It took a while before I found a good one. Now I buy the same brand over and over, in all colors, usually during the half off sales. I have a pretty common size though. My more unusually sized friends say finding a good bra is impossible! There's probably a lot of many to be made in this underserved market. Hmmm.....

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  5. Oh, how true, how true!
    I pulled my very best bra, my only bra that truly fits, my beloved wide-strapped lacy 18-hour out of the dryer yesterday, only to find that one of the THREE eyehooks had apparently been caught on something during the drying cycle; something metallic, that had pulled the eyehook almost straight. It would no longer hook anything. I wore it anyway, all night long at work, where that one hook's absence was felt keenly. My back no longer felt the security that comes from the knowledge that Mr. Playtex had a firm hold on my huge ponderous mammaries. I walked carefully throughout the night, never swinging my arms, fearing that at any moment, the other hooks would give way, and my coworkers would see that my breasts do not actually sit firmly and well-formed in a normal place upon my chest; no, that they actually more closely resemble tube socks with golf balls in the toes, swinging dangerously close to my waistline, such as it is.
    As soon as I got home, I removed the bra in the basement and set about attempting repair with a hammer, pliers, and something long and pointy. The hook was not only bent straight, but turned to one side and the middle sharp pointy piece was stuck out in a manner that could have stabbed me. I worked and worked on it, until it will now hook well, but the thin coating on the hook is gone and the metal underneath is completely exposed. But it works!
    I felt like I had just pulled a beloved friend from the path of a runaway train. And in return, that friend will see me through life for many more months, and the bra department of JC Penney will not see me until 2010.

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  6. So true, so true....I once cried trying to get a bra to fit me. Got measured, cried hysterically when told the size...BUT never looked back. With a bra on they actually look kind of pert even after breastfeeding lots of babies. :0)

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  7. I never gave bras much thought aside from picking out cups that didn't bunch or have seams that showed through my clothes.

    But then I had surgery to have a tumor removed, (happily benign by the way) and what was supposed to be a half inch scare along the edge of where the boob meets the armpit turned into a four inch long, rather thick scar, (the surgeon was sure I had cancer and wanted to get the mass out). That spot is located right where the cup of the bra dissolves into a seam. Ouch, ouch, ouch. Could not wear, (and still, after 3 yrs) can't wear under-wire bras any more. It took me several months and God knows how much money to solve the problem and find a model that held the boobs up but didn't hurt. I buy them by the half dozen. God forbid the manufacturer ever discontinues this model. I'll have to start all over again!

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  8. You just recapped my sixty+ years of torture, from not having enough fat to fill my early bras, to having too much of everything to find appropriate supportive bras. Yes, you just wrote a binding memoir piece.

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  9. Great post here, I'm still chuckling. I'm not sure if it's the weather or the over 50 factor that has everyone thinking about bras, because I too have a bra related post ready to go. It's been stored away in the "draft" vault waiting for the right time for me to post it, or until I get the courage to do so. Perhaps I should dust it off and just do it!

    Bra shopping has got to be one of the most hateful experiences a woman has to go through, and soon as you find a style that you like, the next time you need one, it's been discontinued.

    The matronly bra is a fitting description of my "over the shoulder boulder holder."red

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  10. This is a hysterical post....and oh, so sadly, true. Another fact-of-life that proves that God is most certainly a man~

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  11. It's funny to read a post and have no idea or empathy about it at all! Being a chap is pretty straightforward sometimes.

    I am sure Men didn't design all the world's Bras - I bet Rigby and Peller are both women?

    I am off for a run now (with no need to shackle up).

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  12. I go to a speciality shop in Northwich, Cheshire, when I am back in the UK and they ALWAYS re-measure me, and fit me, and I leave, happily, clutching my new bras.
    Here at home in France, the brasseries are gorgeous, pricey and... nowhere NEAR my size. Well, nothing that comes close to my cup size unless I want to shell out a tremendous amount.

    And to the male poster so smug at our shared misery: We will all sit around and giggle at you as you run around the track, and jump over hurdles if you go commando. (We KNOW you men wear 'Scroat Bras, come on... ;) )

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  13. Sazzie, this one will run and run all the while there are women who need Bras. So funny though, and the comments have cracked me up.

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  14. I now swear by Bravissimo in Newcastle, Saz - For choice and size and great staff who don't make you feel like grotesques, which I feel like in any department store!

    It is a 'mare, non?! Love to you - Still nursing me back, and now me dahlink uncle too... Speaks soon xxooxx

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  15. And just when I needed a really good laugh I knew to drop by and see you, Saz! You manage to cheer without even trying!
    hugs
    Sandi

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  16. I empathize! :-(

    Luckily,
    here in V-city there are stores with sales women who actually know how to find your size.

    I have learned to zip my bras up in a netting bag, before I toss them into the wash. And never ever into the dryer!

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  17. Yup, Bravissimo or Figleaves on line, both fine for ladies with somewhere to hide their pencil cases. I just don't want to make it to a size older than my age. I may be in my early 40s, but I want my chest to remain firmly (well, maybe not quite) in its 30s.

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  18. I was lucky last time I needed to bra shop. I went into one store, and tried four and three fitted. I bought them! And I mean, they fitted well, with everything supported and nothing diggin' in!

    AND they had a sale on! Woo hoo!!

    Man made fabric? Huh! You can forget that!

    Oh well. You can't have everything.

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  19. Hey Kitty - fair point, well made :)
    BS5

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  20. This post is perfect! My husband says he's going to have a gold hook made for me that is specifically to hang my bra on. I am always screaming that I can't find it. Now, you would think a gal would have a bunch of them. Well, I do, but they don't fit. I think I have the 1st wonderbra ever made - which must mean that my boobs look out of style. Oh geez.
    Thanks Saz! And thanks for your visit too.

    Catherine

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  21. You have a wonderful blog. This was a fun-filled post.

    Renee xoxo

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  22. hahaha, so true, all of it. though i must say i cannot forgo the underwires lest i wish to bruise my hipbones.

    i am certain men also invented high heels. really, what torment we go through.

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  23. They can send a man to the moon and split an atom, but they can't make a good bra? Actually, Marks & Spencer in the UK makes good bras.

    Very funny.

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  24. Having a large size (90DD in the Netherlands) it's fairly easy to find a good fitting bra. However, when it comes to pretty... That's a whole other story! I usually have the choice of tan, ivory, white and black. On occasion a red version will present itself. But all those frilly, lacy, beautifully coloured ones? Nope, nada, no way! It's time we go back to the 'custom-made' bras again!

    Great post, found it through post of the day. Well done (and let's face it, if David had been Davida, you would have been winner!)

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  25. Back when I was 18 and president of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee I would have given ANYTHING to have enough to wear even the smallest bra. Two kids, breast fed, 20 pounds and 40 years later, I am still president.

    Sigh. Well, one thing I have never had to deal with is finding one to fit. Right about now, I'm thinking, not having to wear a bra (don't and haven't ever except in high school) is a blessing.

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  26. Just discovered your fabulous blog, via authorblog. I echo much of what's been said here about the perils of wearing a bra. The bra was invented by a man named Robert Brassiere, hence the name. I won't mention what I'd like to do to him. I have always hated the confinement of bras and wear one as little as possible, ever since I burned my bra at a college rally, in protest of the Vietnam War in the 70's. Great post!

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  27. First, I notice that both you and Moannie were in POTD over at David's place. Is this the first time mother and daughter have shared the honor, I wonder?

    OK, to the subject at hand - and don't I wish it was, being the horny bugger I am. MY WIFE for years bought "off the rack" and was fairly miserable. She then went to a place specializing in bras, that actually did fittings via trained personnel, and she has never been more pleased with her underwear.

    It's more expensive, but she believes it was well worth the cost.

    Also, she hand washes, in the sink, and hangs them to dry. I have never known her to machine wash a bra, so they last longer.

    Hope this helps.

    Signed,

    A Man Who Really Appreciates His Ta-Ta's, So Tries To Help

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  28. Congrats Saz on the POTD mention - Ta Da!

    Love you Fhi x

    Omigod word verif is rewirace, like an underwired version of Liberace??! :)

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  29. This definitely deserved mention on POTD! And yes, it's a very painful subject.

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  30. I'm not sure I should be looking at all this!

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Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x