Unfortunately we only get half an hour for our lunch break at work, whether we work a 8.20-5.30 shift or a 9.45-3.30 shift - and that's another issue in itself. Most often I take a prepared chilled lunch or sarnie but yesterday l didn't, AND I needed to pop along into the city centre to buy a couple of things. Which means that unless I try and unceremoniously stuff my face whilst I'm walking, I won't get to eat. I was particularly in need of sustenance and so I grabbed a bottle of water and as there were no sandwiches in the chiller I grabbed a small tray of assorted sushi. I haven't ever had sushi and I guess you are thinking ugh!!! some prepacked, probably disgusting impression of sushi and a food poisoning alert! Not a good way to try Sushi or something that even resembles Sushi!! But that isn't what l'm going to tell you actually.
The thing is in the Museum we cannot eat on duty, (the odd sweet maybe) but patrolling the galleries of the museum is serious stuff I'll have you know and it just won't do. With walkie talkie in hand or attached to my person usually waistband, my keys, their keys, my diary in hand, a surreptitious book placed under the arm - for the quiet dead periods such as now, my mobile phone vibrating under me bra strap (as you do, and l know there is a joke there somewhere but I ain't going there) there isn't much chance of eating anyway. So enough rules are bent there then! To compound the wrong by eating on duty it would, if caught by one of our Managers bring a stern word at least, a warning at the most, plus I wouldn't like it much either.
So what's a girl to do in this situation? I decided l would pop it all into the cupboard where we keep the charts and stationary and other items we use regularly throughout the shift.
A small chair appeared in there a while back and the chair is known to be ' Trudi's chair' as it is universally acknowledged that Trudi will spend her cherished lunch break in M&S and then eat her lunch in the cupboard. She thinks no one knows but even the management know it. They turn a blind eye l guess, but that doesn't mean FFF has to do it, until yesterday. I was so hungry, my sushi and the banana l found in my locker would do me and the cupboard would be the place to assuage my hunger.
I checked no one was about, and in the cupboard I tenderly unwrapped the tray, opened it and poured the sauce? soy over the sushi ( don't panic these didn't have any visible signs of fish or shellfish in them) l then slathered the wasabi and the pickled stem ginger on each of the 8 delicacies - I use the term loosely of course as they were prepared in Salford and I don't know what l'm talking about!
As l turned to throw the packaging into the bin I caught the edge of the tray of sushi and the lot fell onto the floor!
'Aw Shit!' I muttered, closed my eyes then opened them hoping something was still in tact on the tray. Not a bit of it, the small sushi parcels had unravelled and each piece of rice and whatever the other bits were had scattered all over the dusty, dirty concrete floor! Not one bit was left for me to eat. I took the evidence home with me to throw away.
Today while I was passing through the gallery a colleague said to me 'there's a funny smell in the cupboard FFF did you notice it yesterday?'
Before I had a second to fess up I heard myself saying, ' No, I didn't notice it!'
Moral of the story? Dear FFF, it is just a fact that you cannot get away with bending or breaking any rules, you never have been able to, so don't bother trying, oh and make a packed lunch for yourself!