The brown parcel has arrived from DHL and I knew immediately it was the course books for my next Open University course An Introduction to Shakespeare. As I seemingly appear to have broken the backs of Philosophy, Haiku poetry and the History of Art, I thought it was time I got my head around the Bard.
Usually my heart soars when I receive the long awaited delivery, this time I admit it sank. I had already tried to postpone the start of this until the new year, but the OU were having none of it, as I had partially paid for this course with Tesco - gawdbless 'em- clubcard vouchers. It's a great offer, when Tesco send the statement with £vouchers, the OU quadruples their face value. Its very much appreciated and I thank them for returning a qui-tri-zillionth of their profits back to me, I really do. But If I had changed the date of the course the OU couldn't honour the vouchers. Sod that I wasn't gonna lose out.
So my question, to myself really is why do I put myself through this when I am juggling so many other things? Because l enjoy pressure? get high on stress ? or do I just love the feeling of isolation when I'm the moodiest person in the house and they either tread on egg shells around me or I withdraw to scowl and wither under the pressure to my room? Nah my problem is I just don't think of the bigger picture, should I? could I? would I? be able to complete this task within the parameters of my busy life? So ok, I don't practise what I preach, I tell the kids one thing for their own good and completely ignore the advice myself, when I know better!
I have 6 books to read for reviews by mid November for the Romantic Association Award thingy, and a review for the readers mag'. I have one more week of my Photoshop course. I haven't done my biz website justice since we moved home in Nov' 07 as I haven't added the stock I have bought for hopeful Christmas sales . My Etsy shop is lonely too and needs new stock. As I have only three shifts this week instead of the usual five, so I could in theory catch up a bit.
My husbands advice is to make a list and see what I can cull and then make a plan and stick to it. That's fine and dandy, but who has ever stuck to a plan with kids and a dog, a home and work. I'm not army trained and I haven't had to motivate, train and organise a team of 30+ staff for over 15 years, so where is my discipline? This isn't the same, it should be easier, it isn't, but perhaps the culling part would help!
Where to start... I guess by not taking on anything else. I seem to remember a post a while back when I muttered away about learning to say NO! Some hope.