Sunday, 5 October 2008

Once upon a time...one for all us Mum's !


A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning... 

Baby bear
 goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. 
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 
'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. 

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into
his big bowl and it is also empty. 
'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars. 

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells,

 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? 
It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. 
 It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. 
It w
as Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.
 It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen.
 It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants. 
It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table. 
It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray,
gave them their food, and refilled their water. 

'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and
grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence,  now listen carefully, 
because I'm only going to say this once.... 





'I HAVEN'T MADE THE EFFiNG PORRIDGE YET!!!'



  
A contender for post of the day at Authorblog, thanks again for the mention David!

14 comments:

  1. Did you eat all the croissants yourself?!!!

    Hope you enjoyed your day of rest !! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  2. So Daddy Bear didn't bust his poor God damned Ursine arse commuting to work 5 days a week to put a deposit and mortgage down on the house then?

    I'm with The Chap element of this story. Yeah Mummy Bear did her fair and valiant share, but c'mon....!

    If you are a Mummy Bear and disagree, let's hear about it!

    Brave BS5....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Husband will tell you that on Saturday he brought me 2 cups of tea in bed and both went cold as I slept in till 11.45 am!!! So I feel a bit bad about calling myself Mummy Bear.

    ReplyDelete
  4. WELL FOR A START suburbia I DON'T MAKE THE PORRIDGE AS I WOULD gag, HOT MILK AND BOILED MILKY THINGS ARE ABOUT THE ONLY THINGS I CANNOT STOMACH OR SMELL....

    OF COURSE bs% I WOULD HAVE TO ADD TO THAT LIST THAT I ALSO WORK AN AVERAGE OF 10 HOURS A WEEK, DRIVE LIKE A TAXI SERVICE, DO ALL THE GARDENING ETC FOR ALL TIME!!! RARELY GET A THANK YOU...I COULD SHOOT THE BLOODY FEMINISTS WHO SO VERY KINDLY GAVE US THE POWER TO WORK AND BE ALL TO EVERY BLOODY BODY...
    OF COURSE WE ARE OUR OWN WORSE ENEMIES...WHY THE HECK WE TRY AND DO IT ALL FUCK KNOWS...I AM ABOUT SICK OF IT ACTUALLY..BUT ONWARD EVER ONWARD...
    ANOTHE RDAY, ANOTHER DIME..AND TOMORROW IS MONDAY AND WE'LL START IT ALL OVER A BLOODY GAIN!! lol

    NITE ALL

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with you on that one Saz!!

    BS5 you should be ashamed of yourself!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. *haha*

    I remember one fine morning, when the kids (four) were still very little. Pancakes for breakfast. My husband to one of the little ones: "You don't want pancakes today? No problem, mum will cook porridge for you!"
    I did, but the next morning. For the whole crew. No exceptions. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh sweetheart. I'm sorry, but I did Laugh out Loud. Brave bs5,bless his foolhardy heart, had better barricade himself inside somewhere safe...commuting is not fun, I agree, but does he truly believe that we are all Stepford Wives, enjoying our housework and living only to be pretty for 'him'.'Hey, little girl, comb your hair, fix your makeup....' Or that there is even a modicum of exaggeration in your story.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow - that was something else, Moanie! No Stepford Wife fixation here! Blogsville is a dangerous place for BS5 today!

    Have a good day.

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. That is cute! I gotta wonder sometimes if they will ever get it.
    I love your picture on the side of you and the kids. Looks like a fun time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I must be doing something right. I have trained my husband to set the breakfast table and go out to get the newspaper, but ufortunately it ends there. Just as well we don't eat porridge.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Gosh I hope it got better .. inconsiderate bears!

    ;-Daryl

    ReplyDelete
  12. Congratulations on your authorblog Post of the Day nomination.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for stopping by!

Take the weight of your feet, draw up a chair and pour yourself a cuppa. Leave your troubles at the door and together we shall ride out the storms.
I will walk a while in your shoes...

Saz x